dick:

1. Colloquial term for the penis . See penis for synonyms.
Etymology: 1) From a contraction of derrick , a crane that can rise up . 2) From dickory dock , rhyming slang for cock . 3) From rhyming slang with creamstick, also meaning penis . 4. From dirk , an early English term for a short dagger . Lawrence Paros, The Erotic Tongue (1984): ' Dick that is not derived from Richard . He originates with dirk , a short dagger used by sneak thieves in Old England. And its name derives from Derrick, the notorious hangman at Tyburn Prison whose improved gallows design was the prototype of the modern crane, and who was evidently a real pr**k, at that .'

Quotes:

(1) Sung by Eric Idle in Monty Python. The Meaning of Life (1983): ' Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis / Isn't it frightfully good to have-it-on / It's swell to have a stiffy / It's divine to own a dick / From the tiniest little tadger to the world's biggest prick / So, three cheers for your Willy or John-Thomas / Hooray for your one-eyed-trouser-snake / Your piece of pork , your wife's-best-friend , your passing or your cock / You can wrap it up in ribbons, you can stuff it in your sock / But don't take-it out in public or they'll stick you in the dock and you won't come back .'

(2) Alex (Cher) in The Witches of Eastwick (1987): ' I hope his dick is bigger than his I.Q. '

(3) Reggie Hammond (Eddie Murphy) in 48 HRS. (1983): 'I've been in prison for three years. My dick gets hard after the wind blows .'

(4) Reggie (Eddie Murphy) in 48 HRS. (1983): ' I was great. I should have my dick bronzed. '

(5) Lucky Day (Steve Martin) to El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) in Three Amigos! (1986): ' Not so fast El Guapo or I'll fill you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil .'

(6) Maria Ruskin (Melanie Griffith) to Sherman McCoy (Tom Hanks) in The Bonfire of the Vanities (1990): ' You know I'm a sucker for a soft dick, Sherman .'

(7) Bert (M. Emmet Walsh) in White Sands (1992): ' You're as persistent as a dog-with-two-dicks .'

(8) Nelson (Tim Robbins) and Mona (Jennifer Tilly) in No Small Affair (1984):-- Nelson: ' Hey, Mona, what's your bra size? '-- Mona: ' Multiply the length of your dick by ten and add your I.Q. '-- Nelson: ' Ask a simple question she gives you a math problem .'

(9) Karla Jackson (Annie Potts) and hubby Duane (Jeff Bridges) in a hot tub in Texasville (1990):-- Karla: ' Duane, why are poking that gun in the water? '-- Duane: ' I was thinking of shooting my dick off . It's caused nothing but trouble my whole life .'

(10) Private eye V.I. Warshawski (Kathleen Turner) squints at the bad guys thumb and forefinger trying to figure out just how much space there is between them in V.I. Warshawski (1991):-- Tough guy : ' Don't push me, Warshawski, because you're about this close .'-- Warshawski: ' What's that? Your I.Q. or the size of your dick? '

(11) Molly (Rene Russo) to Tin Cup/Roy McAvoy (Kevin Costner) and David Simms (Don Johnson) in Tin Cup (1997): ' Why do men insists on measuring their dicks? '

2. Of a male, to copulate . See copulation for synonyms.

3. Or: dick-head / dick-weed , in the US, (a rude insult for) an idiot, a fool, a fuckwit .

Quote: The Terminator II (1990): ' You're foster parents are kind-a dicks, hum? '

4. Clever dick , in England, someone who gives the impression of knowing everything; a know-all.

5. A synonym for nothing . ' S/He doesn't know dick about... '

Quote: Nina Borowsky (Jennifer Aniston) in Object Of My Affection (1998): ' Freud doesn't know dick about women! '

See Also: bell cheese, bug-fucker, chancre mechanic, charactronym, cheese, cock cheese, cock corpsman, cock-chafer, cock-tease, cock-teaser, cockchafer, cockhead cheese, cocktease, cockteaser, corn on the cob, cottage cheese, cunt-tease, cunt-teaser, dead eye dick, deadeye dick, decoy(er), derrick, dick, dick butter, dick dolcenatte, dick head, dick wad, dick weed, dick with, dick-dairy, dick-drinker, dick-licker, dick-wit, Dickey, Dickless Tracy, Dicky, dicky-licker, dicky-taster, dog with two dicks, donkey-, donkey-rigged, DSL, fellator, floozy, fucker, fumenda cheese, he-whore, Hollywood hustler, hooker, husband for a weekend, hustler, Jack ass, John Thomas, joy boy, knob cheese, limp-prick, Little Dickie, lovemaking, messing with Moby, Mickey, needle-dick, one-eyed trouser snake, pansy, party boy, pecker, pecker checker, penis machinist, personification, peter machinist, philander, philanderer, prick peddler, prick-tease, prick-teaser, pricksmith, private parts, Professional queer, puto, rent boy, renter, Richard, size queen, smegma, smentana, sport goods, sporting goods, stiffy, street hustler, street mechanic, street-meat, tadger, take matters into your own hands, tease, todger, tomcat with three balls, trabajado trader, trader dick, urinal sniffer

Quotes Containing dick:
Dick Pepper (Gig Young) explaining to his Augie Pool (Richard Widmark) the the guilt of the philandering husband in The Tunnel of Love (1958): - Dick: ''Every time it''s over I have a terrific sense of guilt.'' - Augie: ''Oh, but you wait until it''s over, hum?'' - Dick: ''Sure. I feel I deserve this guilt. When I don''t have it I''m uncomfortable so I try to recapture the guilt by chasing around.'' - Augia: ''So why do you keep chasing around then if it''s that much trouble?'' - Dick: ''I''ve got to get back to that feeling of guilt. (...) I have to suffer for chasing around.''
Dick Harper (George Segal) and Jane (Jane Fonda) in Fun with Dick and Jane (1977): - Dick: ''Would you be embarassed if I kissed you in a public place?'' - Jane: ''I''d be embarassed if you kissed me in a private place with all these people around.''
Dick Pepper (Gig Young) explaining to his friend Augie Pool (Richard Widmark) the vicious-circle of guilt of the philandering husband in The Tunnel of Love (1958): - Dick: ''Every time it''s over I have a terrific sense of guilt.'' - Augie: ''Oh, but you wait until it''s over, hum?'' - Dick: ''Sure. I feel I deserve this guilt. When I don''t have it I''m uncomfortable so I try to recapture the guilt by chasing around.'' - Augie: ''So why do you keep chasing around then if it''s that much trouble?'' - Dick: ''I''ve got to get back to that feeling of guilt. (...) I have to suffer for chasing around.''
Dick Harper (George Segal) and Jane (Jane Fonda) in Fun with Dick and Jane (1977): - Dick: ''Would you be embarassed if I kissed you in a public place?'' - Jane: ''I''d be embarassed if you kissed me in a private place with all these people around.''
Dick Tracy (Warren Beatty) and Breathless Mahoney (Madonna) after the death of Lips in Dick Tracy (1990) - Tracy: ''No grief for Lips?'' - Breathless: ''I''m wearing black underwear .''
Breathless Mahoney (Madonna) to Dick Tracy (Warren Beatty) in Dick Tracy (1990): ''I know the feeling. You don''t know if you want to kiss me or hit me. I get a lot of that.''
'Oh, Dick! You came for me.' Agent 3.14 (Nicolette Sheridan) to Agent WD40, Dick Steele (Leslie Nielsen) in Spy Hard (1999) who came to rescue her.
Lysander (Dick Powell) in A Midsummer''s Night Dream (1935): ''Hermia, the course of true-love never did run smooth.''
Robert Gold (Dick Bogarde) to Diana Scott (Julie Christie) in Darling (1965): ''Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time.''
Do you always take matters into your own hands?' Agent 3.14 (Nicolette Sheridan) to WD40, Dick Steel (Leslie Nielsen) in Spy Hard (1999)
Sandy (Bette Midler) to a cop in Outrageous Fortune (1987): ''Does the phrase needle-dick , the bug-fucker , mean anything to you?''
Agent 3.14 (Nicolette Sheridan) to WD40 / Dick Steel (Leslie Nielsen) in Spy Hard (1998): ''Do you always take matters into your own hands?''
Agent 3.14 (Nicolette Sheridan) to WD40 / Dick Steel (Leslie Nielsen) in Spy Hard (1998): ''Do you always take matters into your own hands?''
Philip Marlow (Dick Powell) to Ann Grayle (Anne Shirley) in Murder, My Sweet (1945): ''You know , that''s a cute nose, even if it is crooked. ''
Maria Ruskin (Melanie Griffith) to Sherman McCoy (Tom Hanks) in The Bonfire of the Vanities (1990): ''You know I''m a sucker for a soft dick , Sherman .''
Nina Borowsky (Jennifer Aniston) in Object Of My Affection (1998): ''Freud doesn''t know dick about women!''
Alex (Cher) in The Witches of Eastwick (1987): ''I hope his dick is bigger than his I.Q.''
Reggie (Eddie Murphy) in 48 HRS. (1983): ''I was great. I should have my dick bronzed.''
Mrs. Charleston (Maggie Smith) waiting for her husband Dick in Murder by Death (1976): ''Where''s my Dickey? Sorry where''s my husband?''
Taffy (Mink Stole) in Female Trouble (1975): 'I wouldn't suck your lousy dick if I was suffocating and there was oxygen in your balls!'
Philip Marlow (Dick Powell) to Ann Grayle (Anne Shirley) in Murder, My Sweet (1945): 'You know , that's a cute nose, even if it is crooked. '
Taffy (Mink Stole) in Female Trouble (1975): ''I wouldn''t suck your lousy dick if I was suffocating and there was oxygen in your balls!''
Egbert Souse (W.C.Field) in The Bank Dick (1940): ''I''m very fond-of children. Girl children, around eighteen and twenty.''
Does oat meal have lumps? = The Cheap Detective (1978) Does a hobby-horse have a wooden dick? = Road House (1989) Does Pinocchio have a wooden butt? = Earth Girls are Easy (1989) Does Pinocchio have wooden balls? = Tune In Tomorrow (1990) Does a frog have a waterproof ass? = Tune In Tomorrow (1990) Does a hobby-horse have a hickory dick? = The Cowboy Way (1994) Does Madonna take her clothes off? = With Honors (1994) Does the pope wear a beanie? = Off Beat (1986) Does the pope drive a Cadillac? = Beyond the Law (1994) Does a fat puppy hate fast cars? = Ernest Scared Stupid (1991) Does a one-legged duck swim in a circle? = Ernest Scared Stupid (1991) Does Veronica like Archie? = Little Giants (1995) Does Tina Turner wear a wig? = Earth Girls are Easy (1989) Do birds fly , do ducks duck? = Moonlighting (1985) Do flies fly , do spots beam up? = Moonlighting (1985) Do rattlesnakes kiss carefully? = Ernest Scared Stupid (1991) Do stripes suit a zebra? = The Matchmaker (1958) Is a pig's ass pork? = Gator (1976) Is a frog's ass water tight? = Big Business (1988) Is the earth flat? = The Flintstones (1994) Was Sergeant York's mother an angel = Nothing but Trouble (1991) Will a banker grope for money? = Nothing but Trouble (1991) Does Saddam Hussein and Omar Kadafi pull each other's toffee?'= With Honors (1994) OFF-SCREEN
Carlos (Raul Julia) to Dale MacKussic/Mac (Mel Gibson) in Tequila Sunrise (1988): ''Friendship is the only choice in life you can make that''s yours. You can''t choose your family . (...) And no man should be blamed for whatever direction his dick goes. That''s like blaming a compass for pointing north for chrissake. Friendship is all we have.''
Wayne (Dick Foran) and Flower Belle Lee (Mae West) in My Little Chickadee (1940): - Wayne: 'Spring is the time for-love .' - Belle: 'What's the matter with the rest of the year?'
P.I. Philip Marlow (Dick Powell) speaking of Ann Grayle (Anne Shirley) in Murder, My Sweet (1945): ''Not a beautiful face but a good face . She had a face like a Sunday school picnic .''
Spymaster Norman Coleman (Barry Bostwick) speaking of General Rankor (Andy Griffith) in Spy Hard (1996): - Coleman: ''Good God! He must be stopped!'' - Rankor: ''Dick Steele couldn''t stop me fifteen years ago, and all the Dicks you got won''t stop me now!'' - Coleman: ''Well, apparently he hasn''t euh, seen the size of some of our newer members!''
Breathless Mahoney (Madonna) to Dick Tracy (Warren Beatty) (1990): ''I know the feeling. You don''t know if you want to kiss me or hit me. I get a lot of that.''
Karla Jackson (Annie Potts) and hubby Duane (Jeff Bridges) in a hot tub in Texasville (1990): - Karla: ''Duane, why are poking that gun in the water?'' - Duane: ''I was thinking of shooting my dick off . It''s caused nothing but trouble my whole life .''
Carolyn Burnham (Annette Bening) and Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) in American Beauty (1999): - Carolyn: ''Your father seems to think this type of behavior is something to be proud of.'' - Lester: ''And your mother seems to prefer I go-through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink.''
Reggie Hammond (Eddie Murphy) in 48 HRS. (1983): ''I was great. I should have my dick bronzed.''
Private eye V.I. Warshawski (Kathleen Turner) squints at the bad guys thumb and forefinger trying to figure out just how much space there is between them in V.I. Warshawski (1991): - Tough guy : ''Don''t push me, Warshawski, because you''re about this close.'' - Warshawski: ''What''s that? Your I.Q. or the size of your dick?''
Nelson (Tim Robbins) and Mona (Jennifer Tilly) in No Small Affair (1984): - Nelson: ''Hey, Mona, what''s your bra size?'' - Mona: ''Multiply the length of your dick by ten and add your I.Q.'' - Nelson: ''Ask a simple question she gives you a math problem.''
Lucky Day (Steve Martin) to El Guapo (Alfonso Arau) in Three Amigos! (1986): ''Not so fast El Guapo or I''ll fill you so full of lead you''ll be using your dick for a pencil .''
Reggie Hammond (Eddie Murphy) in 48 HRS. (1983): ''I''ve been in prison for three years. My dick gets hard after the wind blows. ''
Nelson (Tim Robbins) and Mona (Jennifer Tilly) in No Small Affair (1984): - Nelson: ''Hey, Mona, what''s your bra size?'' - Mona: ''Multiply the length of your dick by ten and add your I.Q.'' - Nelson: ''Ask a simple question she gives you a math problem.''
Nelson (Tim Robbins) and Mona (Jennifer Tilly) in No Small Affair (1984): - Nelson: ''Hey, Mona, what''s your bra size?'' - Mona: ''Multiply the length of your dick by ten and add your I.Q.'' - Nelson: ''Ask a simple question she gives you a math problem.''
Nelson (Tim Robbins) and Mona (Jennifer Tilly) in No Small Affair (1984): - Nelson: ''Hey, Mona, what''s your bra size?'' - Mona: ''Multiply the length of your dick by ten and add your I.Q.'' - Nelson: ''Ask a simple question she gives you a math problem.''
Nelson (Tim Robbins) and Mona (Jennifer Tilly) in No Small Affair (1984): - Nelson: ''Hey, Mona, what''s your bra size?'' - Mona: ''Multiply the length of your dick by ten and add your I.Q.'' - Nelson: ''Ask a simple question she gives you a math problem.''
Vince Boudreaux (Woody Harrelson) in Play It To The Bone (1999): ''If a man builds a thousand bridges and sucks one dick , they don''t call him a bridge-builder; they call him a cocksucker .''
Agent WD40, Dick Steel (Leslie Nielsen) to the spy in his bed in Spy Hard (1998): ''Don''t thank me, darling . The art of lovemaking takes two... sometimes three or four depending on how well you do at the crap tables.''
Wayne Carter (Dick Foran) and Flower Belle Lee (Mae West) in My Little Chickadee (1940): - Wayner: 'I don't like to see a girl like you go into Badger's. It's a sordid place full of temptations. ' - Flower Belle: 'I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it .'
Senora Camargo (Nina Vale) and Laurence Gerard (Dick Powell) in Cornered (1945). - Senora Camargo: 'I could make you forget.' - Laurence Gerard: 'But not for long and not enough. For that you'd have to have a heart .'
Velma (Claire Trevor) and Marlow (Dick Powell) in Murder, My Sweet (1945): - Velma Valento: 'I find men very attractive .' - Philip Marlow: 'I imagine they meet you half way .'
Sung by Eric Idle in Monty Python. The Meaning of Life (1983): ''Isn''t it awfully nice to have a penis / Isn''t it frightfully good to have-it-on / It''s swell to have a stiffy / It''s divine to own a dick / From the tiniest little tadger to the world''s biggest prick / So, three cheers for your Willy or John-Thomas / Hooray for your one-eyed-trouser-snake / Your piece of pork , your wife''s best-friend , your passing or your cock / You can wrap it up in ribbons, you can stuff it in your sock / But don''t take-it out in public or they''ll stick you in the dock and you won''t come back .''
Sung by Eric Idle in Monty Python. The Meaning of Life (1983): ''Isn''t it awfully nice to have a penis / Isn''t it frightfully good to have-it-on / It''s swell to have a stiffy / It''s divine to own a dick / From the tiniest little tadger to the world''s biggest prick / So, three cheers for your Willy or John-Thomas / Hooray for your one-eyed-trouser-snake / Your piece of pork , your wife''s best-friend , your passing or your cock / You can wrap it up in ribbons, you can stuff it in your sock / But don''t take-it out in public or they''ll stick you in the dock and you won''t come back .''
Sung by Eric Idle in Monty Python. The Meaning of Life (1983): ''Isn''t it awfully nice to have a penis / Isn''t it frightfully good to have-it-on / It''s swell to have a stiffy / It''s divine to own a dick / From the tiniest little tadger to the world''s biggest prick / So, three cheers for your Willy or John-Thomas / Hooray for your one-eyed-trouser-snake / Your piece of pork , your wife''s best-friend , your passing or your cock / You can wrap it up in ribbons, you can stuff it in your sock / But don''t take-it out in public or they''ll stick you in the dock and you won''t come back .''
Robert Schimmel guest star on the Rodney Dangerfield comedy special Nothin'' Goes Right (1988): ''Some of these guys only like it if they think the girl doesn''t like it ; it''s some sort of weird power trip thing for these guys. It''s like anal-sex . I think if you really wanted to try that with a girl and she said: ''OK, but be really gentle because no one ever did anything like this to me before.'' You''d get the hard-on of a lifetime. But if she said: ''Give me that big dick and drive me around the block .'' You wouldn''t be able to get-it-up if there was money involved.''
Sung by Eric Idle in Monty Python. The Meaning of Life (1983): ''Isn''t it awfully nice to have a penis / Isn''t it frightfully good to have-it-on / It''s swell to have a stiffy / It''s divine to own a dick / From the tiniest little tadger to the world''s biggest prick / So, three cheers for your Willy or John-Thomas / Hooray for your one-eyed-trouser-snake / Your piece of pork , your wife''s best-friend , your passing or your cock / You can wrap it up in ribbons, you can stuff it in your sock / But don''t take-it out in public or they''ll stick you in the dock and you won''t come back .''

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