Dictionaries:
Sexual DictionaryDictionary of the F-Word
wife:
1. A female spouse ; a woman joined in marriage to a man .See wife [SYN] for synonyms.
3. Any of a pimp's family of prostitutes.
4. The more passive or feminine of a homosexual couple .
QUOTES:
(1) Henry (Charles Laughton) in The Private Life of Henry VIII (1933): ' How many blunders, stupidities and cruelties has a man to pass before he finds his happiness in a wife .'
(2) The groom, George Kitteridge (John Howard), his future wife Tracy Lord (Katharine Hepburn), and her ex-husband C .K. Dexter-Haven (Cary Grant) in The Philadelphia Story (1940):-- George: ' But a man expects his wife ... '-- Tracy: ' To behave herself, naturally .'-- Dexter: ' To behave herself naturally .'
(3) Charlie Pike (Henry Fonda) and Jean Harrington (Barbara Stanwyck) in The Lady Eve (1941):-- Chalie: ' Lots of men are more careful in choosing a tailor than they are in choosing a wife .'-- Jean: ' That's probably why they look so funny .'
(4) William Demarest as Regret in Sorrowful Jones (1949): ' I've got three mouths to feed. Two on my wife .'
(5) Dr. Noah Praetorius (Cary Grant) to his wife Debra Higgins (Jeanne Crain) in People Will Talk (1951): ' The woman has yet to be born who doesn't in her heart believe she'll make her husband a better wife than he has any possible right to expect .'
(6) Emiliano Zapata (Marlon Brando) in Viva Zapata (1952): ' I believe that love cannot be bought except with love and that he who has a good wife wears heaven in his hat .'
(7) Maria Danreuther (Lola Lollobrigida) in Beat the Devil (1954): ' All husbands like their wife to seem attractive to other men .'
(8) Frank Broderick (Henry Fonda) and Bob Weston (Tony Curtis) in Sex and the Single Girl (1964):-- Frank: ' What do you call-it when you hate the woman you love? '-- Bob: ' A wife .'
(9) The Emcee (Joel Grey) in Cabaret (1972): ' I only yesterday said: I want you for my wife . And she said: Your wife , what would she want with me? '
(10) Charley Nichols (Walter Matthau) in House Calls (1978): ' Still beats being married . I mean a date you can look at as a non-recurring expense; a wife is overhead .'
(11) R.K. Maroon (Alan Tilvern) to Eddie Valiant (Bob Hoskins) speaking about Roger's wife , Jessica Rabbit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988): ' His wife is poison, but he thinks she's Betty Crocker .'
(12) Frank Slade (Al Pacino) in Scent of a Woman (1993). ' Be careful! When the wife gets restless, the wife gets greasy .'
(13) Humorously defined by Louis J. Safian in An Irreverent Dictionary of Love and Marriage (1966) as: ' A woman who gets bed and boredom .'
(14) Tom Watson (Bud Abbott) and George Bell (Lou Costello) in Lost in Alaska (1952):-- Tom: ' George, do you know my wife's an angel? '-- George: ' You're lucky. Mine's living .'
(15) Ira Skitch (Will Rogers) to his son-in-law in Mr. Skitch (1933): ' A wife is a wonderful thing and no husband should be without one. Now, Harvey, I'm gonna give you a bit of advice from an old veteran husband to an amateur . The most dangerous year in married life is the first , then comes the second, and the third, and the fourth, and on down . Marriage is an institution. I've been an inmate of that institution long enough to know that the most successful marriage in one where the wife is the boss and don't know it .'
(16) John Barrymore (as himself) in Playmates (1941): ' - Wives are funny, aren't they? - Definitely. Ask the man who owns one .'
(17) The Sheik Ilderim (Hugh Griffith) to Judah Ben-Hur (Charlton Heston) in Ben-Hur (1959): ' One wife!? One god, that I can understand, but one wife? This is not civilized, it is not generous .'
Synonyms: appendage, awful-wedded-wife, anchor, ball-and-chain, bedmate (bed-mate), best-piece, better-half, bit-of-tripe, bitter-half, blushing-bride, bother-and-strife, bride, buttock-and-tongue, carving-knife, cheese-and-kisses, chief-cook-and-bottle-washer, chief-of-staff, china, china-plate, cooler, comfortable-importance, consort, cow-and-kisses, cows-and-kisses, dead-weight, dough-beater, drum-and-fife, Duchess-of-Fife, feme, foot-warmer, fork-and-knife, frau, front-office, frow, hausfrau, head-cook-and-bottle-washer, helpmate, help-spend, her indoors (Her Indoors), home-cooking, homework, hot-water-bag, housefrow, jam-tart, joy-of-my-life, kicksy-wicksy, lady-wife, lawful-blanket, lawful-jam, lawful-wedded wife, lawful-wife, legal-mate, legal-wedded wife, legalized-moment, lifer, little woman, loud-speaker, ma, mamma, mare, marriage moll, marriage partner, married-woman, mate, misses, missis, missus, Mrs.-Right, Ms.-Right, My Queen, nag, old-bubble, old-Dutch, old-lady, old-noose, old saw, old-woman, other-half, partner, plates-and-dishes, poker-breaker, private-property, rib, sergeant-major, significant-other, slave-driver, sleeping-partner, splice, spouse, squaw, squawking-half, storm-and-stripes, struggle-and-strife, trouble-and-strife, war-and-strife, War-Department, warden, warmer, wedded wench, whither-go-ye, wifey, wifie, woman-of-the-house, worry-and-strife, X.Y.L
See Also: a mensa et thoro, Adam, adelphogamy, adelphogomous, affair, allovalent, appendage, apron strings, Athor, attitudes, awful-wedded wife, bachelor's wife, ball and chain, ball wracker, ball-breaker, ball-buster, ball-busting, beard, bearded lady, beat it while the beating is good, beat one's time, bedmate, best piece, better fraction, better half, bi-wife, bit of tripe, bitch's blind, bitches' blinds, bitter half, block of ice, Bluebeard, blushing bride, bother and strife, boy marriage, bread, brevet-wife, bunker, buttock and tongue, Canterbury tale, capricornified, Carvel's ring, carving knife, case, Caspar Milquetoast, cataphilist, cheese and kisses, chief cook and bottle washer, chief of staff, china, china plate, chingus, cicisbeism, claim jumper, cockquean, cold heart, cold meat, comfortable importance, common-law spouse, common-law wife, concubine, consort, cooler, copula carnalis, cotquean, couple freak, cow and kisses, cows and kisses, crime of passion, crooked rib, cuckold, cuckold the parson, cuckquean, cunt-struck, damaged goods, dead weight, December-May, deuterogamy, digamy, divorce, dough-beater, drum and fife, Duchess of Fife, Dutch widow, eunuch, fake it, feme, fish supper, fishwife, foot warmer, fork and knife, frau, freezer, front office, frow, fuck around, gagger, gander month, go in unto, golf widow, gray mare, guy cramps, half-widow, Hans Carvel's ring, Hathor, hausfrau, have an affair with, head cook and bottle washer, help-spend, helpmate, hen-pecker, henpecked, her indoors, heterovalent, home cooking, homework, honey-do, honeymoon, horn mad, horniness, hot-water bag, housefrow, iceberg, icebox, icicle, idiogamist, illegal cohabitation, jack-gagger, jam, jam-tart, Jericho, John Thomas, John Tom, joint, joy of my life, kicksy-wicksy, lady wife, lawful blanket, lawful jam, lawful wife, leaping over the sword, left-handed, left-handed wife, legal mate, legalized moment, lifer, little man, little woman, the, Lord knows where, loud-speaker, lovemaking, main, main bitch, main lady, main piece, main squeeze, married woman, masochism, mate, mate-swapping, matrimony, messalina, Messalina complex, Messalina syndrome, misses, missis, missus, mistress, moon, mot, mother-in-law, Mrs. Right, Ms. Right, nag, nut-cruncher, old bubble, old Dutch, old lady, old noose, old woman, one-eyed trouser snake, other half, partner, pederastic marriage, people-in-law, piss proud, plates and dishes, poker breaker, private property, privy parts, public enemy, pussy-whipped, queen, rib, riding in another mans saddle, roll, sapphire, scut, sergeant major, sex drive, share bed and board, significant other, sister-in-law, slave driver, sleeping partner, Solomon, Spanish padlock, spouse, spouse and strife, squaw, squawking half, stable, stiffy, storm and stripes, struggle and strife, suck face, Sunday widow, swinging, swinging single, tadger, thing, todger, triborgasmia, trouble and strife, twat-faithful, unwritten law, upchuck, uxoravalence, uxoravalent, uxoricide, uxoriosis, vibratory dilator, war and strife, War Department, wearer of the breeches, wearer of the pants, wet deck(s), whipped, whither-go-ye, wife, wife in watercolors, wife-in-law, wife-swapper, wife-swapping, wifey, woman of the house, worry and strife, X.Y.L., xantippe, XYL, zipless fuck
Quotes Containing wife:
Frank Slade (Al Pacino) in Scent of a Woman (1993): ''Be careful! When the wife gets restless, the wife gets greasy.''
R.K. Maroon (Alan Tilvern) to Eddie Valiant (Bob Hoskins) speaking about Roger's wife , Jessica Rabbit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988): 'His wife is poison, but he thinks she's Betty Crocker.'
Iram Katourian (Jack Lemmon) talking to his mistress Irene (Joanna Gleason) about his wife Millie (Talia Shire) in For Richer, For Poorer (1992): - Irene: ''Iram, do you really think that your money has anything to do with Millie''s sex drive?'' - Iram: ''Oh, absolutely. You''ve heard the phrase: power is an aphrodisiac? That applies to marriage especially. See, a poor man has tremendous power over his wife . She needs him. Without his support, her, the kids... she humps the hell out of him. The richer a man is the less his wife is depending upon him, the less power he has over her and the less sexy he becomes to her. It''s a law of nature.'' - Irene: ''Horniness equals dependence times poverty squared.''
Iram Katourian (Jack Lemmon) talking to his mistress Irene (Joanna Gleason) about his wife Millie (Talia Shire) in For Richer, For Poorer (1992): - Irene: 'Iram, do you really think that your money has anything to do with Millie's sex drive?' - Iram: 'Oh, absolutely. You've heard the phrase: power is an aphrodisiac? That applies to marriage especially. See, a poor man has tremendous power over his wife . She needs him. Without his support, her, the kids... she humps the hell out of him. The richer a man is the less his wife is depending upon him, the less power he has over her and the less sexy he becomes to her. It's a law of nature.' - Irene: 'Horniness equals dependence times poverty squared.'
Frank Slade (Al Pacino) in Scent of a Woman (1993). 'Be careful! When the wife gets restless, the wife gets greasy.'
The Sheik Ilderim (Hugh Griffith) to Judah Ben-Hur (Charlton Heston) in Ben-Hur (1959): 'One wife!? One god, that I can understand, but one wife? This is not civilized, it is not generous.'
The Emcee (Joel Grey) in Cabaret (1972): 'I only yesterday said: I want you for my wife . And she said: Your wife , what would she want with me?'
The groom, George Kitteridge (John Howard), his future wife Tracy Lord (Katharine Hepburn), and her ex-husband C .K. Dexter-Haven (Cary Grant) in The Philadelphia Story (1940): - George: 'But a man expects his wife ...' - Tracy: 'To behave herself, naturally.' - Dexter: 'To behave herself naturally.'
Dr. Noah Praetorius (Cary Grant) to his wife Debra Higgins (Jeanne Crain) in People Will Talk (1951): 'The woman has yet to be born who doesn't in her heart believe she'll make her husband a better wife than he has any possible right to expect.'
Emiliano Zapata (Marlon Brando) in Viva Zapata (1952): 'I believe that love cannot be bought except with love and that he who has a good wife wears heaven in his hat .'
Henry (Charles Laughton) in The Private Life of Henry VIII (1933): 'How many blunders, stupidities and cruelties has a man to pass before he finds his happiness in a wife .'
Larry (William Powell) to his wife Kay (Myrna Loy) in I Love You Again (1940): 'You know , a divorce can break-up a marriage .'
Oliver Rose (Michael Douglas) to his wife Barbara (Kathleen Turner) in The War of the Roses (1989): 'I'm more than happy, I'm way past happy, I'm... married .'
Ira Skitch (Will Rogers) to his son-in-law in Mr. Skitch (1933): 'A wife is a wonderful thing and no husband should be without one. Now, Harvey, I'm gonna give you a bit of advice from an old veteran husband to an amateur . The most dangerous year in married life is the first , then comes the second, and the third, and the fourth, and on down . Marriage is an institution. I've been an inmate of that institution long enough to know that the most successful marriage in one where the wife is the boss and don't know it .'
Oliver Rose (Michael Douglas) to his wife Barbara (Kathleen Turner) in Dinner at Eight (1989): 'I'm more than happy, I'm way past happy, I'm... married .'
Nick Gardenia (Chevy Chase) to ex-wife Glenda (Goldie Hawn) in Seems Like Old Times (1980): ''I love the way your eyes curl up when you look at me.''
Daniel Hillard as Mrs. Doubtfire (Robin Williams) to his estranged wife Miranda (Sally Field) in Mrs. Doubtfire (1993): ''Winston''s idea of foreplay was: Effie, brace yourself.''
Regret (William Demarest) as in Sorrowful Jones (1949): 'I've got three mouths to feed. Two on my wife .'
Ira Skitch (Will Rogers) to his son-in-law in Mr. Skitch (1933): 'A wife is a wonderful thing and no husband should be without one. Now, Harvey, I'm gonna give you a bit of advice from an old veteran husband to an amateur . The most dangerous year in married life is the first , then comes the second, and the third, and the fourth, and on down . Marriage is an institution. I've been an inmate of that institution long enough to know that the most successful marriage in one where the wife is the boss and don't know it .'
Phil Berquist (Daniel Stern) to his wife in City Slickers (1991): ''I hate you more. If hate were people, I''d be China.''
Maria Danreuther (Lola Lollobrigida) in Beat the Devil (1954): 'All husbands like their wife to seem attractive to other men.'
Dr. Alex Tremor (Jeff Daniels) to Marina (Demi Moore) in The Butcher''s Wife (1991): ''It''s a lonely world without your split-apart.''
Oscar Wilde: ''Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.''
Nick Charles (William Powell) to his wife Nora (Myrna Loy) in After the Thin Man (1936): ''I don''t need anything in the world but you and a toothbrush.''
David Bissonette : ''I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry . That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.''
Bob Brooks (Reginald Denny) to his wife Angela (Kay Johnson) in Madam Satan (1930): ''I think you''re above all women, but below zero .''
Oscar Wilde: ''Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.''
Doug Quaid (Arnold Schwarzenegger) shooting his wife Lori (Sharon Stone) in Total Recall (1990): ''Consider that a divorce .''
Larry (William Powell) to his wife Kay (Myrna Loy) in I Love You Again (1940): ''You know , a divorce can break-up a marriage .''
Nick Gardenia (Chevy Chase) to ex-wife Glenda Park (Goldie Hawn) in Seems Like Old Times (1980): ''I love the way your eyes curl up when you look at me.''
Nick Gardenia (Chevy Chase) to ex-wife Glenda (Goldie Hawn) in Seems Like Old Times (1980): ''I love the way your eyes curl up when you look at me.''
Billy Crystal in bed with his wife in City Slickers II (1994): 'Look! The little-man wants to go to the parade.'
Adam Bonner (Spencer Tracy) to his wife Amanda (Katharine Hepburn) in Adam's Rib (1949): 'I'm old-fashioned , I like two sexes. '
Maria (Lola Lollobrigida) to Gwendolyn (Jennifer Jones) in Beat the Devil (1954): 'All husbands like their wife to seem attractive to other men.'
Mitch Robbins (Billy Crystal) adressing his son''s class in City Slickers (1991):''Value this time in your life , kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have your choices. It goes by so fast. When you''re a teenager , you think you can do anything and you do . Your twenties are a blur. Thirty, you raise your family , you make a little money and you think to yourself: What happened to my twenties? Forties, you grow a little pot belly , you grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud. One of your old girlfriends from high school becomes a grandmother. Fifties, you have a minor surgery. You''ll call-it ''a procedure'' but it''s a surgery. Sixties, you''ll have a major surgery. The music is still loud but it doesn''t matter because you can''t hear it anyway. Seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, start eating dinner at two o''clock in the afternoon . You have lunch around ten , breakfast the night before. Spend most of your time wandering around malls, looking for the ultimate soft yogourt and muttering: How come the kids don''t call? The eighties, you have a major stroke . You end up blabbering to some Jamaican nurse that your wife can''t stand and that you call mama. Any questions?''
Eduardo (Adolphe Menjou) to his wife Delphina (Barbara Brown) in You Were Never Lovelier (1942): ''You''re as beautiful as ever, my dear. It just takes longer now.''
''The world is changing, but two things remain constant. (...) Youth, and beauty . You know they''re really one and the same thing .'' Dudley (Cary Grant), an angel , to Julia Brougham (Loretta Young) in The Bishop''s Wife (1947)
Phil Berquist (Daniel Stern) to his wife in City Slickers (1991): - Arlene: ''You''re crazy!'' - Phil: ''That''s right! Not having-sex for twelve years will do that to a person!''
Robbie Ross (George Segal) and his ex-wife Natasha O'Brien (Jacqueline Bisset) in Who is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe? (1978): - Robbie: 'You don't call a roll-in-the-hay with your secretary adultery .' - Natasha: 'What would you call it? Shorthand?'
''Me and my wife use to fight like a couple of wild cats with only a tree between us, but sooner or later, missy, you''ll find out that it doesn''t make a tinker''s damn who''s got the upper hand. A few years roll by and you kinda settle-down to being at ease with each other. Then life gets worth living.'' Capt. Jake Cutter (John Wayne) to Pilar Grayle (Ina Balin) in The Comancheros (1961)
Nicole L''Oiselle (Claudette Colbert) toasting her reconciliation with her husband Michael Brandon (Gary Cooper) in Bluebeard''s Eight Wife (1938): - Nicole: ''Here''s to our agreement: no love-making, no quarrels.'' - Michael:''Just like an ordinary married couple .'' - Nicole:''I said no quarrels.''
Henry Moon (Jack Nicholson) to his wife Julia Tate (Mary Steenburgen) in Goin'' South (1978): ''Goddammit, I knew it! You can always tell a virgin on account the white of the eyes ain''t clear.''
P.I. Nick Charles (William Powell) and wife Nora (Myrna Loy) in The Thin Man (1934). - Nick:''What were you doing on the night of October 5th, 1902?'' - Nora:''I was just a gleam in my father''s eye .''
Gloria Paterson (Helen Broderick) to Nicole De Cortillon (Danielle Darrieux) on how to catch a rich husband in The Rage of Paris (1938): ''The way to a man''s heart is through his eyes , honey . That''s the modern version. He believes what he sees , and takes bicarbonate of soda for his indigestion instead of a wife that can cook.''
Jess (Bruno Kirby) and Harry (Billy Crystal) in When Harry Met Sally (1989): - Jess: ''Marriages don''t break-up on account of infidelity . It''s just a symbol that something else is wrong.'' - Harry: ''Really?! Well, that symbol is fucking my wife .''
Vernon Hightower (Jeff Bridges) to his ex-wife Nadine (Kim Basinger) in Nadine (1987): ''No! No! I''m not in the ''Vernon darling'' business no more.''
''You know Effie. When she gets riled up , she''''l fight a rattlesnake and give it the first two bites. '' Egbert Floud (Charlie Ruggles) speaking of his wife in Ruggles of Red Gap (1935)
Leo Schneider (Joseph Bologna) in Chapter Two (1979): ''I can''t be faithful to my wife and I hate the guilt that comes from fooling-around . So I compromise. I have a lot of unpleasurable affairs .''
Allan (Woody Allen) thinking of his wife Nancy in Play It Again, Sam (1972): 'I wonder if she actually had an orgasm in the two years we were married or did she fake-it that night?'
Allan (Woody Allen) thinking of his wife Nancy in Play It Again, Sam (1972): ''I wonder if she actually had an orgasm in the two years we were married or did she fake-it that night?''
Sir Percy Blakeney (Richard E. Grant) and his wife Lady Marguerite Blakeney (Elizabeth McGovern) in the mini TV series The Scarlet Pimpernel (1998): - Sir Percy : ''The poets tell us love is blind .'' - Lady Blakeney: ''The miracle of marriage opens our eyes .''
Jordan (Rock Hudson) and wife Leslie (Elizabeth Taylor) in Giant (1956): - Jordan Benedict: ''This is men stuff .'' - Leslie Benedict: ''Men stuff! Set up my spinning wheel girls, I''ll join the harem section in a minute.''
The cynical Squire Jons (Gunnar Bjornstrand) to blacksmith Plog (Ake Fridell) who is looking for his unfaithfull wife in The Seventh Seal (1957): 'Haven't you learned by now that love is just another word for lust?'
Leo Schneider (Joseph Bologna) in Chapter Two (1979): ''I can''t be faithful to my wife and I hate the guilt that comes from fooling-around . So I compromise. I have a lot of unpleasurable affairs .''
Jess (Bruno Kirby) and Harry (Billy Crystal) in When Harry Met Sally (1989): - Jess: ''Marriages don''t break-up on account of infidelity . It''s just a symbol that something else is wrong.'' - Harry: ''Really?! Well, that symbol is fucking my wife .''
Lucy Cashdollar (Thelma Ritter) to Molly (Betty Grable) in The Farmer Takes a Wife (1953): ''You can''t make a man over into something he ain''t. They''re born with faults and by the time we get them they''ve saved up quite a collection.''
Lucy Cashdollar (Thelma Ritter) to Molly (Betty Grable) in The Farmer Takes a Wife (1953): ''You can''t make a man over into something he ain''t. They''re born with faults and by the time we get them they''ve saved up quite a collection.''
Pat Cooper (Wendy Hiller) to John Malcolm (Burt Lancaster) about his relation with his ex-wife Ann Shankland (Rita Hayworth) in Separate Tables (1958): ''Well, there''s not much to choose between you two, is there? When you''re together, you slash each other to pieces, when you''re apart, you slash yourselves to pieces. '' A form of reconciliation is achieved at the end of the movie with this dialogue: - John: ''You know , don''t you Ann, that we don''t have very much hope together.'' - Ann: ''Have we all that much apart?''
Frank Broderick (Henry Fonda) and Bob Weston (Tony Curtis) Sex and the Single Girl (1964): - Frank: ''What do you call-it when you hate the woman you love?'' - Bob: ''A wife .''
Maggy (Mary Cecil) in The Women (1939): ''You know , the first man who can think up a good explanation how he can be in-love-with his wife and another woman is going to win that prize they''re always giving out in Sweden.''
Leo Schneider (Joseph Bologna) to Faye Medwick (Valerie Harper) in Chapter Two (1979): ''I can''t be faithful to my wife and I hate the guilt that comes from fooling-around . So I compromise. I have a lot of unpleasurable affairs .''
'You know , as the Alcalde's wife , I must play many, many roles, but the people only see the part I play in public. Only a few select friends know my private-parts .' Florinda (Brenda Vaccaro) to Don Diego Vega (George Hamilton) in Zorro, The Gay Blade (1981)
''The whole story of my life : frustration. It''s a chronic disease and it''s incurable.'' Old professor Wutheridge (Monty Woolley) to Dudley (Cary Grant) and Julia (Loretta Young) in The Bishop''s Wife (1947):
Frank Broderick (Henry Fonda) and Bob Weston (Tony Curtis) in Sex and the Single Girl (1964): - Frank: 'What do you call-it when you hate the woman you love?' - Bob: 'A wife .'
Ballin Mundson (George Macready) to his wife Gilda (Rita Hayworth) about her hate for Johnny Farrell (Glenn Ford) in Gilda (1946): ''Hate can be a very exciting emotion. Very exciting. Haven''t you noticed that? There''s a heat in it that one can feel.''
Johnny Farrell (Glenn Ford) thinking of his ex-girlfriend Gilda (Rita Hayworth) now the wife of his boss in Gilda (1946):''I hated her so I couldn''t get her out of my mind for a minute. She was in the air I breathed and the food I ate.''
Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) in American Beauty (1999): 'That's my wife , Carolyn. See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident.'
Charley Nichols (Walter Matthau) in House Calls (1978): 'Still beats being married . I mean a date you can look at as a non-recurring expense; a wife is overhead.'
Charlie Pike (Henry Fonda) and Jean Harrington (Barbara Stanwyck) in The Lady Eve (1941): - Chalie: 'Lots of men are more careful in choosing a tailor than they are in choosing a wife .' - Jean: 'That's probably why they look so funny.'
Georgia King (Gena Rowlands) and her daughter Emma Rae (Kyra Sedgwich) talking about Eddie Buchon (Dennis Quaid) who cheated on his wife in Something to Talk About (1995): - Georgia : ''What could he have been thinking of?'' - Emma: ''Probably the same thing he was thinking with.''
Dave (James Stewart) overcoming his suspicions and jealousy towards Whitey (Jean Harlow) in Wife vs. Secretary (1936): ''All the fighting and worrying people do always seem to be about one thing ; they don''t trust each other. Well, I''ve found this out : Don''t look for trouble where there isn''t any because if you don''t find it , you''ll make-it . Just believe in someone.''
State prisoner Rosco (Fred Ward) enquires about his wife from his mother (Kathleen Freeman) in The Naked Gun 33 1/3. The Final Insult (1994): - Rosco: ''Ma. How''s Tanya?'' - Mother: ''Tanya''s the same. Milky, creamy skin , pouting red lips , firm buttocks , ample breasts, ears you just love to stick your tongue into...'' - Rosco: ''Ma. Please. I''m gonna get guy-cramps if you keep this up .''
Caroline (Andie MacDowell) and Charles (Hugh Grant) in Four Weddings and a Funeral (1993): - Carrie: ''Why do you think it''s called honeymoon?'' - Charles: ''Hmmm, I don''t know . I-suppose it''s honey because it''s sweet as honey and moon because it''s the first time a husband got to see his wife''s bottom .''
Charlie Bewell (Louis Calhern) giving fatherly advice to his daughter Susan Dewell Vega (Lucille Ball) on her wedding day in Forever, Darling (1956): ''The thing to remember is that in marriage the husband and wife are one... and the husband is the one.''
Georgia King (Gena Rowlands) and her daughter Emma Rae (Kyra Sedgwich) talking about Eddie Buchon (Dennis Quaid) who cheated on his wife in Something to Talk About (1995): - Georgio: ''What could he have been thinking of?'' - Emma: ''Probably the same thing he was thinking with.''
The cynical Squire Jons (Gunnar Bjornstrand) to blacksmith Plog (Ake Fridell) who is looking for his unfaithfull wife in The Seventh Seal (1957): ''Haven''t you learned by now that love is just another word for lust?''
Julie Blair (Karen Sharpe) and Jerome Littlefield (Jerry Lewis) in The Disorderly Orderly (1964): - Julie: ''You loved your father, didn''t you?'' - Jerome: ''Love you can''t help, but I also respected and admired my father. Respect and admiration you have to earn.'' - Julie: ''Who else have you ever loved?'' - Jerome: ''Oh, well, I loved his wife . She was like a mother to me.''
Julie Blair (Karen Sharpe) and Jerome Littlefield (Jerry Lewis) in The Disorderly Orderly (1964): - Julie: ''You loved your father, didn''t you?'' - Jerome: ''Love you can''t help, but I also respected and admired my father. Respect and admiration you have to earn.'' - Julie: ''Who else have you ever loved?'' - Jerome: ''Oh, well, I loved his wife . She was like a mother to me.''
Adam Bonner (Spencer Tracy) to his wife Amanda (Katharine Hepburn) in Adam''s Rib (1949): ''Here we go again, the old juice . Guaranteed heartbreaker . A few female tears. Stronger than any acid. But this time it won''t work .''
Adam Bonner (Spencer Tracy) to his wife Amanda (Katharine Hepburn) in Adam''s Rib (1949): ''Here we go again, the old juice . Guaranteed heartbreaker . A few female tears. Stronger than any acid. But this time it won''t work .''
Adam Bonner (Spencer Tracy) to his wife Amanda (Katharine Hepburn) in Adam''s Rib (1949): ''Here we go again, the old juice . Guaranteed heartbreaker . A few female tears. Stronger than any acid. But this time it won''t work .''
Charlie Bewell (Louis Calhern) to his daughter Susan (Lucille Ball) in Forever, Darling (1956): 'The thing to remember is that in marriage the husband and wife are one... and the husband is the one.'
Eduardo Acuna (Adolphe Menjou) to his wife Delphina (Barbara Brown) in You Were Never Lovelier (1942): ''You''re as beautiful as ever, my dear. It just takes longer now.''
Florinda (Brenda Vaccaro) to Don Diego Vega (George Hamilton) in Zorro, The Gay Blade (1981): ''You know , as the Alcalde''s wife , I must play many, many roles, but the people only see the part I play in public. Only a few select friends know my private-parts .''
Nick Gardenia (Chevy Chase) and his ex-wife Glenda Park (Goldie Hawn) in Seems Like Old Times (1980). - Nick: 'You know , your eyes lit up the moment you saw me again.' - Glenda: 'That battery's been dead a long time.'
Larry Wilson (William Powell) and his wife Kay (Myrna Loy) in I Love You Again (1940): - Larry: 'You be careful, madam , or you'll turn my head with your flattery.' - Kay:'I often wished I could turn your head ... on a spit over a slow fire.'
Robbie Ross (George Segal) and his ex-wife Natasha O''Brien (Jacqueline Bisset) in Who is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe? (1978): - Robbie Ross: ''You don''t call a roll-in-the-hay with your secretary adultery .'' - Natasha O''Brien: ''What would you call it? Shorthand?''
Celeste Talbert (Sally Field) to Rose Schwartz (Whoopi Goldberg) in Soapdish (1991): - Celeste: ''Adam went home to his wife ... He went home to Pittsburgh.'' - Rose: ''Dirty town.'' - Celeste: ''Pittsburgh! Does that tell you anything about my appeal?''
Celeste Talbert (Sally Field) to Rose Schwartz (Whoopi Goldberg) in Soapdish (1991): - Celeste: ''Adam went home to his wife ... He went home to Pittsburgh.'' - Rose: ''Dirty town.'' - Celeste: ''Pittsburgh! Does that tell you anything about my appeal?''
Allan (Woody Allen) thinking of his wife Nancy in Play It Again, Sam (1972): ''I wonder if she actually had an orgasm in the two years we were married or did she fake-it that night?''
Corey (Jane Fonda) to her new husband Paul in Barefoot in the Park (1967): 'Paul, I think I'm gonna be a lousy wife . But don't be angry with me. I love you very much... and I'm very sexy!'
Paul Bratter (Robert Redford) and his wife Corey (Jane Fonda) in Barefoot in the Park (1967): - Paul: 'You want me to be rich and famous, don't you?' - Corey: 'During the day. At night I want you to be here and sexy .'
Dr. Alex Tremor (Jeff Daniels) and Grace (Frances McDormand) in The Butcher''s Wife (1991): - Alex: ''My career is in a shambles and my best-friend is sleeping with my girlfriend .'' - Grace: ''Ain''t love grand?''
Eduardo Acuna (Adolphe Menjou) to his wife Delphina (Barbara Brown) in You Were Never Lovelier (1942): ''You''re as beautiful as ever, my dear. It just takes longer now.''
Finn (Winona Ryder) to Marianna (Alfre Woodard) in How to Make an American Quilt (1995): 'You see , what they don't tell us is that marriage is this anachronistic institution created for the sole convenience of the father who needs to pass off his daughters to the care of another man . Like 'here, here, she eats too much. Take her off my hands', you know? But now, now that we've gotten our independence, that we earn our own livings, there's no purpose to being someone's wife . Why can't we love as many people as we want in a lifetime?'
Sung by Eric Idle in Monty Python. The Meaning of Life (1983): ''Isn''t it awfully nice to have a penis / Isn''t it frightfully good to have-it-on / It''s swell to have a stiffy / It''s divine to own a dick / From the tiniest little tadger to the world''s biggest prick / So, three cheers for your Willy or John-Thomas / Hooray for your one-eyed-trouser-snake / Your piece of pork , your wife''s best-friend , your passing or your cock / You can wrap it up in ribbons, you can stuff it in your sock / But don''t take-it out in public or they''ll stick you in the dock and you won''t come back .''
Sung by Eric Idle in Monty Python. The Meaning of Life (1983): ''Isn''t it awfully nice to have a penis / Isn''t it frightfully good to have-it-on / It''s swell to have a stiffy / It''s divine to own a dick / From the tiniest little tadger to the world''s biggest prick / So, three cheers for your Willy or John-Thomas / Hooray for your one-eyed-trouser-snake / Your piece of pork , your wife''s best-friend , your passing or your cock / You can wrap it up in ribbons, you can stuff it in your sock / But don''t take-it out in public or they''ll stick you in the dock and you won''t come back .''
Sung by Eric Idle in Monty Python. The Meaning of Life (1983): ''Isn''t it awfully nice to have a penis / Isn''t it frightfully good to have-it-on / It''s swell to have a stiffy / It''s divine to own a dick / From the tiniest little tadger to the world''s biggest prick / So, three cheers for your Willy or John-Thomas / Hooray for your one-eyed-trouser-snake / Your piece of pork , your wife''s best-friend , your passing or your cock / You can wrap it up in ribbons, you can stuff it in your sock / But don''t take-it out in public or they''ll stick you in the dock and you won''t come back .''
''Now let me get this straight . You got a wife and you got a girlfriend in the office? Did you say your name was Bud or Stud? I''m sorry, but it sounds to me like you''re living your life so crooked you have to screw your socks on . Having an affair is like shooting pool on two tables. You may have the balls , Bud, but you''re gonna wear out your stick .'' Shirlee Kenyan (Dolly Parton) hosting a radio call-in show in Straight Talk (1992)
Sung by Eric Idle in Monty Python. The Meaning of Life (1983): ''Isn''t it awfully nice to have a penis / Isn''t it frightfully good to have-it-on / It''s swell to have a stiffy / It''s divine to own a dick / From the tiniest little tadger to the world''s biggest prick / So, three cheers for your Willy or John-Thomas / Hooray for your one-eyed-trouser-snake / Your piece of pork , your wife''s best-friend , your passing or your cock / You can wrap it up in ribbons, you can stuff it in your sock / But don''t take-it out in public or they''ll stick you in the dock and you won''t come back .''
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