husband:

A male spouse ; a married man ; a man joined in marriage to a woman . Humorously defined by Louis J. Safian in An Irreverent Dictionary of Love and Marriage (1966) as: ' A spousebroken individual .'
SYNONYMS: appendage ; bedmate (bed-mate); better-half ; breadwinner ; consort ; foot-warmer ; head-of-the-house ; helpmate ; his-lordship (His Lordship); hub ; hubby (hubbie); hus-bond ; legalized-moment ; lifer ; lord-and-master ; man-of-the-house ; mate ; meal-ticket ; mister; old-man ; old-man spouse ; old-pot ; other-half ; pa; papa; partner ; pot-and-pan (rhyming slang); significant-other ; sleeping-partner ; spouse ; taters-and-tea ; worse half; worser half.
SEE ALSO: apron-husband ; catch-farts; chicken-thief ; common-law-husband ; common-law-spouse ; December and May; ex; ex-bach ; half-husband ; henpecked ; newly-weds ; spouse-and-strife .

QUOTES:

(1) Lou (Lou Costello) in One Night in the Tropics (1940). The same joke was repeated in The Noose Hangs High (1948): ' A husband is what's left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed .'

(2) Mrs. White (Madeline Kahn) who had five husbands in Clue (1986): ' Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable .'

(3) Ouiser Boudreaux (Shirley MacLaine) in Steel Magnolias (1989): ' You know , I used to think you were crazy for marrying that man . Then, for a few years, I thought you were butting for punishment. Now I realise you must be on a mission from God .'

(4) Mrs. Fisher (Joan Plowright) in Enchanted April (1991): ' In my day husbands and beds were never spoken of in the same breath. Husbands were taken seriously as the only real obstacle to sin .'

(5) Charlie Bewell (Louis Calhern) giving fatherly advice to his daughter Susan Dewell Vega (Lucille Ball) on her wedding day in Forever, Darling (1956): ' The thing to remember is that in marriage the husband and wife are one... and the husband is the one .'

Synonyms: appendage, bedmate (bed-mate), better-half, breadwinner, consort, foot-warmer, head-of-the-house, helpmate, his lordship (His Lordship), hub, hubby (hubbie), hus-bond, legalized-moment, lifer, lord-and-master, man-of-the-house, mate, meal-ticket, mister, old-man, old man spouse, old-pot, other-half, pa, papa, partner, pot and pan (rhyming slang), significant-other, sleeping-partner, spouse, taters-and-tea, worse half, worser half, RELATED TERMS, apron-husband, catch-farts, chicken-thief, common-law-husband, common-law-spouse, December and May, ex, ex-bach, half-husband, henpecked, newly-weds, spouse-and-strife

See Also: a mensa et thoro, adulterer, adventuress, afternoon gig, appendage, apron husband, apron strings, badger game, Barbie, bedmate, better fraction, better half, bondage, breadwinner, bully, bush child, Canterbury tale, catch-fart, chicken thief, cicisbeism, cockquean, common-law husband, common-law spouse, consort, copula carnalis, cotquean, couple freak, cuckold, cuckquean, cut him off, daddy mack, December-May, deuterogamy, Dickey, Dicky, digamy, discovert, dowry, Dutch widow, F-word, foot warmer, frigging, gander month, go upstairs, guy, half-widow, have a roving eye, head of the house, helpmate, henpecked, his lordship, His Majesty in purple cap, horn mad, horned, hornified, hub, hubby, hus-bond, husband, husband's supper, hymenorrhaphy, itchy feet, John Tom, legalized moment, lesbionage, lifer, lord and master, mac daddy, mack daddy, man of the house, marital, maritudinal erection, mate, meal ticket, mistress, mother-in-law, old man, old pot, other half, partner, people-in-law, philander, philanderer, pity fuck, pot and pan, put horns on, put the horns on, roving eye, sexual bondage, sexual ego, shake the sheets, significant other, slap and tickle, sleeping partner, Spanish padlock, spouse, spouse and strife, sweet man, sweet papa, sweetman, taters and tea, triborgasmia, twat-hopper, two-mama papa, uxoravalent, uxoricide, vive la différence, wet deck(s), whither-go-ye, wife, working late at the office, worse half, the, worser half, the, zipless fuck

Quotes Containing husband:
Mrs. Charleston (Maggie Smith) waiting for her husband Dick in Murder by Death (1976): ''Where''s my Dickey? Sorry where''s my husband?''
Michael O''Hara (Orson Welles) in The Lady from Shanghai (1948):''Personally, I don''t like a girlfriend to have a husband . If she''ll fool a husband I figure she''ll fool me.''
Charlie Bewell (Louis Calhern) to his daughter Susan (Lucille Ball) in Forever, Darling (1956): 'The thing to remember is that in marriage the husband and wife are one... and the husband is the one.'
Charlie Bewell (Louis Calhern) giving fatherly advice to his daughter Susan Dewell Vega (Lucille Ball) on her wedding day in Forever, Darling (1956): ''The thing to remember is that in marriage the husband and wife are one... and the husband is the one.''
Martha (Elizabeth Taylor) to her husband George (Richard Burton) in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966): 'I swear, if you existed, I'd divorce you.'
Lucy Warrimer (Irene Dunne) to her soon to be ex-husband Jerry (Cary Grant) in The Awful Truth (1937): 'I wouldn't go on living with you if you were dipped in platinum.'
Vida (Debra Winger) to her firefighter husband Wilder (Arliss Howard) in Wilder Napalm (1993): ''Bring home the boots and helmet tonight.''
Hannah Warren (Jane Fonda) to her ex-husband Bill (Alan Alda) in California Suite (1978): ''I don''t have a lifestyle, I have a life .''
Ira Skitch (Will Rogers) to his son-in-law in Mr. Skitch (1933): 'A wife is a wonderful thing and no husband should be without one. Now, Harvey, I'm gonna give you a bit of advice from an old veteran husband to an amateur . The most dangerous year in married life is the first , then comes the second, and the third, and the fourth, and on down . Marriage is an institution. I've been an inmate of that institution long enough to know that the most successful marriage in one where the wife is the boss and don't know it .'
Ira Skitch (Will Rogers) to his son-in-law in Mr. Skitch (1933): 'A wife is a wonderful thing and no husband should be without one. Now, Harvey, I'm gonna give you a bit of advice from an old veteran husband to an amateur . The most dangerous year in married life is the first , then comes the second, and the third, and the fourth, and on down . Marriage is an institution. I've been an inmate of that institution long enough to know that the most successful marriage in one where the wife is the boss and don't know it .'
Angie Scacciapensieri (Geena Davis) to her best friend's husband Gerry in Angie (1994): 'Gerry, if I were her I wouldn't fuck you with a rented vagina .'
Geraldine ''Gerry'' Jeffers (Claudette Colbert) to her husband in The Palm Beach Story (1942): ''You have no idea what a long-legged gal can do without doing anything.''
Melissa Morrison (Saffron Burrows) in Hotel of Love (1996): ''My mother believed in love-at-first-sight with Dad, with her second husband , and her third.''
Roslyn Taber (Marilyn Monroe) explaining to her husband the reason for her divorce in The Misfits (1961):''If I''m going to be alone, I want to be by myself.''
Beatrice Skeffington (Bette Davis) quoting her husband in Mr. Skeffington (1944): ''Job says that a woman is beautiful only when she is loved.''
Nicole L''Oiselle (Claudette Colbert) toasting her reconciliation with her husband Michael Brandon (Gary Cooper) in Bluebeard''s Eight Wife (1938): - Nicole: ''Here''s to our agreement: no love-making, no quarrels.'' - Michael:''Just like an ordinary married couple .'' - Nicole:''I said no quarrels.''
''Easy now! Easy now! Is this a courting or a donnybrook? Have the good manners not to hit the man until he''s your husband and able to hit you back .'' Michaelen Flynn (Barry Fitzgerald), the matchmaker, to Mary Kate Danaher (Maureen O''Hara) and Sean Thornton (John Wayne) in The Quiet Man (1952)
Anna (Edra Gale) and her husband Fritz (Peter Sellers) in What's New Pussycat? (1965): - Anna: 'Lascivious adulturer!!! - Fritz: 'Don't you dare call me that again until I've looked it up .'
Geraldine Jeffers (Claudette Colbert) leaving her husband Tom (Joel McCrea) in The Palm Beach Story (1942): - Gerry: ''I may not get married again. I might become an adventuress .'' - Tom: ''I can just see you starting for China on a twenty-six foot sailboat.'' - Gerry: ''You''re thinking of an adventurer, dear. An adventuress never goes on anything under three hundred feet with a crew of eighty.''
Tracy Lord (Katharine Hepburn) to her ex-husband C .K. Dexter-Haven (Cary Grant) in The Philadelphia Story (1940): ''I thought it was for life but the nice judge gave me a full pardon.''
Gloria Paterson (Helen Broderick) to Nicole De Cortillon (Danielle Darrieux) on how to catch a rich husband in The Rage of Paris (1938): ''The way to a man''s heart is through his eyes , honey . That''s the modern version. He believes what he sees , and takes bicarbonate of soda for his indigestion instead of a wife that can cook.''
Emily Ann Faulker/Rita Shawn (Kim Stanley) in The Goddess (1958): ''You know , my first husband used to tell me about how lonely he felt. Now I know what he meant. It''s like the whole world is off someplace else, like an echo.''
Holly Reed (Mia Farrow) in Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989): ''My ex-husband and I fell in love-at-first-sight . Maybe I should have taken a second look.''
'Running into an old sweetheart . If all his old sweethearts were laid end to end you could use them as a sidewalk.' Nora Charles (Myrna Loy) about her husband in The Thin Man Goes Home (1944)
Lucille Toody (Rosie O''Donnell) and her husband Gunther (David Johansen) in Car 54, Where Are You? (1994): - Lucille:''Are you cheating on me, Gunther?'' - Gunther: ''Cheating!? Are you crazy? You would kill me.'' - Lucille:''Worse. I would grab your scrotum , I would stretch it over your head and I would use you as a puncher bag .''
Phyllis Nefler (Shelley Long) and her husband Freddie (Craig T. Nelson) who is filing for divorce in Troop Beverly Hills (1989): - Phyllis : 'Did it ever occur to you that marriage is a partnership?' - Freedie: 'Yeah, that's right. I earn the money and my partner spends it .'
Vinny Day (Irene Dunne) about her husband Clare (William Powell) in Life with Father (1947): 'You know , I don't believe Clare has come-out and told me he loves me since we been married . Of course I know he does because I keep reminding him of it . You have to keep reminding them, Cora.'
Tillie Seltzer (Carol Burnett) and husband Pete (Walter Matthau) in Pete 'n' Tillie (1972): - Tillie: 'When I think of all the times I was so irritated with you yet, right now, I don't think I ever loved you more.' - Pete: 'Well, love without irritation is just lust .'
Dr. Noah Praetorius (Cary Grant) to his wife Debra Higgins (Jeanne Crain) in People Will Talk (1951): 'The woman has yet to be born who doesn't in her heart believe she'll make her husband a better wife than he has any possible right to expect.'
The groom, George Kitteridge (John Howard), his future wife Tracy Lord (Katharine Hepburn), and her ex-husband C .K. Dexter-Haven (Cary Grant) in The Philadelphia Story (1940): - George: 'But a man expects his wife ...' - Tracy: 'To behave herself, naturally.' - Dexter: 'To behave herself naturally.'
Duchess (Barbara Hershey) to Tommy (Eric Idle) in Splitting Heirs (1993): - Duchess Lucinda: ''You remind me of my late husband . (...) He was hung like a badger .'' - Tommy Patel: ''Really? Is that good?'' - Duchess Lucinda: ''Only if you''re a badger .''
Tillie Seltzer (Carol Burnett) and husband Pete (Walter Matthau) in Pete ''n'' Tillie (1972): - Tillie: ''When I think of all the times I was so irritated with you yet, right now, I don''t think I ever loved you more.'' - Pete: ''Well, love without irritation is just lust .''
Seth (John Halliday) and Tracy (Katharine Hepburn) in The Philadelphia Story (1940): - Seth Lord: ''What most wives fail to realise is that their husband''s philandering has nothing to do with them.'' - Tracy Lord: ''Oh? Then what has it to do with?'' - Seth Lord: ''A reluctance to grow old, I think.''
Bert (Robert Lindsay) speaking of Tess Trample (Carmen Du Sautoy) and her husband Sid (Robbie Coltrane) in Bert Rigby, You''re a Fool (1989): ''A nympho and a schizo; their marriage was a perfect blend of sex and violence.''
Duchess Lucinda (Barbara Hershey) to Tommy Patel (Eric Idle) in Splitting Heirs (1993). - Duchess: ''You remind me of my late husband . (...) He was hung like a badger .'' - Tommy: ''Really? Is that good?'' - Duchess: ''Only if you''re a badger .''
Lauren Bacall to her husband Jack Lemon in My Fellow Americans (1998): ''Don''t say frigging , Russ. If you have to use the F-word go-for the gold.''
Tommy Patel (Eric Idle) and Duchess Lucinda (Barbara Hershey) in Splitting Heirs (1993): - Tommy: ''I''m sorry about your husband .'' - Lucinda: ''You didn''t have to sleep-with him. His idea of a good-time in bed was three newspapers and a cup of tea . He thought foreplay was a kind of golf.''
Caroline (Andie MacDowell) and Charles (Hugh Grant) in Four Weddings and a Funeral (1993): - Carrie: ''Why do you think it''s called honeymoon?'' - Charles: ''Hmmm, I don''t know . I-suppose it''s honey because it''s sweet as honey and moon because it''s the first time a husband got to see his wife''s bottom .''
Lou (Lou Costello) in One Night in the Tropics (1940). The same joke was repeated in The Noose Hangs High (1948): ''A husband is what''s left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed.''
Corey (Jane Fonda) to her new husband Paul in Barefoot in the Park (1967): 'Paul, I think I'm gonna be a lousy wife . But don't be angry with me. I love you very much... and I'm very sexy!'
Amanda Bonner (Katharine Hepburn) and husband Adam (Spencer Tracy) in Adam's Rib (1949): - Amanda : 'There is no difference between the sexes. Men, women, the same.' - Adam : 'They are, hum?' - Amanda : 'Well, maybe there is a difference but it's a little difference.' - Adam : 'Well you know what the French say.' - Amanda : 'What do they say?' - Adam : 'Vive la diffrence.' - Amanda : 'Which means?' - Adam : 'Which means: Hooray for that little difference.'
Elaine (Kelly Bishop) and Sue (Pat Quinn) in An Unmarried Woman (1978): - Elaine: ''There''s no such thing as total honesty, not with men. They''re all wrapped up in sexual-ego .'' - Sue: ''What the hell is sexual-ego , Elaine?'' - Elaine: ''Never getting enough, always on-the-make , constantly worrying about performing.'' - Sue: ''That''s ridiculous! I know lots of men who are interested in other things besides sex .'' - Elaine: ''Name one.'' - Sue: ''My husband .''
Dick Pepper (Gig Young) explaining to his friend Augie Pool (Richard Widmark) the vicious-circle of guilt of the philandering husband in The Tunnel of Love (1958): - Dick: ''Every time it''s over I have a terrific sense of guilt.'' - Augie: ''Oh, but you wait until it''s over, hum?'' - Dick: ''Sure. I feel I deserve this guilt. When I don''t have it I''m uncomfortable so I try to recapture the guilt by chasing around.'' - Augie: ''So why do you keep chasing around then if it''s that much trouble?'' - Dick: ''I''ve got to get back to that feeling of guilt. (...) I have to suffer for chasing around.''
The Detainer (Daliah Lavi), strapped naked on a couch , and the short madman Dr. Noah (Woody Allen) in Casino Royale (1967): - Detainer: ''Do you treat all the girls you desire this way?'' - Dr. Noah: ''Yes, oh yes . I undress them and tie them up . I learned that in the Boy Scouts.'' Hairdresser Rita (Julie Walters) and a client in Educating Rita (1983): - Client: ''Is that a book you''re reading? (...) What''s it called?'' - Rita: ''Of Human Bondage.'' - Client: ''Yeah? My husband''s got a lot of books like that.'' - Rita: ''Somerset Maugham books?'' - Client: ''No, bondage books.''
Dick Pepper (Gig Young) explaining to his Augie Pool (Richard Widmark) the the guilt of the philandering husband in The Tunnel of Love (1958): - Dick: ''Every time it''s over I have a terrific sense of guilt.'' - Augie: ''Oh, but you wait until it''s over, hum?'' - Dick: ''Sure. I feel I deserve this guilt. When I don''t have it I''m uncomfortable so I try to recapture the guilt by chasing around.'' - Augia: ''So why do you keep chasing around then if it''s that much trouble?'' - Dick: ''I''ve got to get back to that feeling of guilt. (...) I have to suffer for chasing around.''

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