masturbation-female:

SYNONYMS:
Although most of the synonyms listed below are written exactly as I found them, in some cases I standardized the use of THE ( airing-the-orchid ) in replacement of YOUR or ONE'S ( airing your orchid ) Verb vs. verbal noun.
3-point-shot
accordion-solo
airing-the-orchid
amatripsis
applying-lip-gloss
audition-the-finger-puppets
basting-the-meat
basting-the-tuna
be-your-own-best-friend
beat-the-beaver
beating-about-the-bush
beating-around-the-bush
beating-the-bush
best orgasm you'll ever get , the
bisecting-the-triangle
blooming
bouncing the bearded-clam
brushing-the-beaver
buff-the-beaver
buff the weasel
buffing-the-box
buffing-the-jewel
bury-the-knuckle
butter-schlopping
butter-the-bead
butter-the-muffin
butter-the-potato
butting-the-bead
buttonhole
buzz
buzzing
buzzing the honey hole
buying-an-E-Ticket
candlesticking
caress-oneself
caressing-the-kitty
catch-a-buzz
checking-the-foxhole
checking-the-oil
checking-the-status-of-the-I/O-port
churning-the-cream
circling-the-knoll
clam-bake-for-one
clam twiddling jamboree
clap-the-clit
clap-with-one-hand
cleaning-my-fur-coat
cleaning-the-fish
cleaning-your-fingers
clit-bliss
clit-fix
clit-twit
clitorize
clubbing the taco
combing-the-brush
cook-cucumbers
cook-the-clam
cook-your-nookie
countering-cunts
creaming-the-pie
crossing the Great Divide
crossing-the-middle-and-index-fingers
crossing-the-swamp
cunt-cuddling
dactylate
damming-the-beaver
deep-dishing
dialing 'O' on the (little) pink telephone
dialing-the-pink-phone
dialing-the-rotary-phone
dickless-dildo-dance
diddle
diddling
diddling-Miss-Daisy
digging-a-trench
digging-for-change
digging-for-clams
digging-for-your-keys
digging-into-the-trenches
digging the goldmine of love
digit-disco
digital-special-effects
digitate
digitize
digitizing
dildo-doodling
dip-the-digit(s)
do-a-one-finger-exercise
do-handiwork
do-it-yourself
do-the-bowling-hold
doing-laps
doing-something-for-my-chapped-lips
doing-the-Two-Finger-Slot-Rumba
doing-one's-nails
douse-the-digits
dousing-the-digits
drilling-for-oil
drooling
drown-the-man-in-the-boat
dunk-the-doughnut
dunking-the-beaver
dusting-the-endtable
engaging-in-safe-sex
enjoying-a-little-southern-comfort
enjoying-yourself
entering-no-man's-land
entering-the-ring-of-fire
erase-the-problem
erasing-the-problem
explore Carlsbad Caverns
exploring the Deep South
express-a-secret-vice
fan-the-fur
fanning-the-fur
fanning-the-furnace
fare-un-ditolino (Italian: to do a little finger)
feed-the-bearded-clam
feed-the-beaver
feed-the-cat
feed-the-fish
feeding-the-bearded-clam
feeding-the-other-mouth
feeding-the-slot
feel-the-fur
female-finger-fun
fiddle-the-bean
finger(-job)
finger blast
finger-blasting
finger-dancing
finger-flick
finger fondue
finger-fuck
finger-fun
finger-painting
finger-pie
fingerbating
fingerdoodling
fingering-the-clit
fingering-the-fountain
fingering-the-skin-harp
flick-the-bean
flicking the minnow
flicking-the-switch
flip-the-flaps
flipping-through-the-pages
flit-the-clit
flossing-the-cat
fluff-the-muff
fly-automatic
fly-manually
flying-manual (with hands)
flying-on-automatic (with vibrator)
four-lip-whistling
fret-the-fiddle-strings
Friday night lip-service
frig
frigging
frosting the muffin of love
fucking-without-complications
furry-finger-fuck
furry-fun
fuzzy-fun
gagging-the-clam
gagging-the-lips-of-love
genital-stimulation-via-phalangetic-motion
genitalic-stimulation-via-phallengetic-motion
gentle-the-genitalia
get-a-date-with-Slick-Mittens
get-a-fat-lip
get-a-lube-job
get-a-stinky-pinky
get-to-know-yourself
getting-a-stain-out-of-my-carpet
getting-to-know-yourself
getting-to-know-yourself-personally-in-the-biblical-sense
give-oneself-the-finger
giving-yourself-the-finger
glazing a candied yam
go blind
going for the gooey duct
going-mining
going-on-a-finger-ride
going to the well
grab-the-goatee
grabbing the gibbon
grease-the-dildo
grease-the-gash
greasing-the-skillet
greasing-your-hips
grissle rub
groping-the-grotto
gusset-typing
harp-playing
having-sex-with-someone-you-love
having-some-clam-dip
hee-haw-with-the-wrinkled-mee-maw
hiking-the-Grand-Canyon
hit-the-slit
hitchhiking-south
hold-a-bowling-ball
hoodwink
hooking the fish
hose-the-hole
hula-hooping
hump-the-bump
impeaching (the) bush
in-the-hand-cream
invoking-Venus
itching-the-ditch
jazz-oneself
jerking-the-merkin
jill-off
jilling-off
Jocelyn eldering
jollification
joyce-off
juice-it-up
juicing the clam
jump-start-the-river
killing-45-seconds
killing-off
Lady Fingers and Cream
launching-a-class-probe
leave-it-to-beaver
leglock-the-pillow
let the fingers do the walking
levy-break-limbo
lip-smacking
little-southern-romance
loob-the-goob
look-in-the-mirror
looking-for-uboats
looking-for-Waldo-&-his-dog
loving-thy-self
make-bumps
make-butter
make-the-tide-come-in
make-waves-(for-the-boy-in-the-boat)
making-a-finger-sandwich
making-five-fingers
making-soup
making-the-kitty-purr
making-the-oysters-smile
man-overboard
maritate
ménage à moi
merry-widow-waltz
mistressbate
moving-the-stone
muff buffing
muff-ruffing
muffing-buffing
navel-maneuvers
non-penile-pleasure-pursuit
nulling-the-void
nuzzle-the-fuzz
on-the-waterslide
one-hand-clapping
one-handed-clapping
paddling-the-pink-canoe
Palmolive-finger-dip
pampering-the-pussy
parting-the-petals
parting-the-red-sea
parting-the-waters
pause-that-refreshes,-the
pearl-diving
pearl-fishing
performing-a-pearl-jam
performing-for-Mr.-Swaggart
perling-the-oyster
pet-the-petunia
pet-the-poodle
pet-the-pussy-(cat)
petal-pushing
petting Kitty
petting-Snoopy
petting-the-bunny
petting-the-kitty
petting-the-pussy
piddly diddler
pitching-in-the-bush-leagues
play-stink-anger
play-stinky-pinky
play-the-clitar
play-the-fiddle
play-the-silent-trumbone
playing-with-the-pineapple
playing-piano
playing solitare
playing-the-beaver
playing-the-silent-trombone
playing-the-slots
playing the squeezebox
playing-with-the-man-in-the-boat
plumbing-the-bottomless-pit-of-passion
poke-the-pussy
poking porky
poking-the-pie
poking-the-pucker
polishing the little pink pearl
polishing-the-nugget
polishing-the-peanut
polishing-the-pearl
polishing-the-wedding-ring
pound-the-mound
practising
praising-the-orchid
preheating-the-oven
pressing-the-pleats
priming the hymen
producing-whore-moans
pumping-the-kooter
punt-the-cunt
pushing-the-button
pussy-poking
pussy-soccer
read-Braille
reading-in-Braille
rheomism
rheononia
ride-sidesaddle
ride-the-curl
ride-the-tubespout
ride-the-tubsput
riding-the-clitoris-saurus
riding-the-unicycle
riding-the-waterslide
riding-the-wild-hand
ring-for-the-maid
ringing-southern-bells
rocking-the-little-man-in-the-boat
rolling-the-dough
rolling-the-mink
romancing-the-rose
romancing-thy-own
row-the-little-man-in-the-boat
rub-a-dub
rub
rub-it-off
rub-off
rub one's...
rub oneself
rub-your-cooze-'til-you-ooze
rubbin-nubbin
rubbing one off
rubbing-the-donut
rubbing-the-love-nubbin
rubbing-the-nub
rubbing-the-nubbin
rubbing-the-red-pussycat
rubbing the rhubarb
rubbing the ruby
ruff-the-muff
scoring-the-hoop
scratch-the-crack
scratch-the-patch
scratch-the-snatch
scratching-the-itch
scratching-the-snatch-patch
scrub-the-cake-pan
scrubbing the barrel
scuff-the-muff
scuffing-the-muff
search-for-Spock
see-if-the-baby's-home
setting-the-oysters
shelling-the-bean
shelling-the-oyster
Sherman
Sherman-tank
shooting-hoops
shooting-the-cat
shooting-the-rapids
shuffling-the-Kit-Kat
skimming-the-cream
slam dunking
slam-the-clam
slapping the gap
slapping the little-man in the canoe
slapping-the-mackerel
slick-abuse
smacking-the-clam
snatching
soaking-in-Palmolive
soaking-the-whisker-biscuit
solo-sex
southern-comfort
southern-pleasures
southern-romance
southern-seduction
spanking Lucy
speed-bagging the bean
spelunking
split-the-slit
spreading-the-petals
squeeze-the-peach
stiffening-the-upper-lip
stink-anger (-finger)
stinky pinky
stir-the-cauldron
stir-the-yogurt
stirring-the-yogurt
stirring-it-up
stroke-the-slit
stroking-and-poking
stoking-the-furnace
stroking the newt
stroking-the-snail
strumming
strumming-the-Big-Open
strumming-the-banjo
stuff-the-taco
stump-jump
surf-the-wet
surfing at Finger Beach
surfing-the-channel
sushi-party
swat-the-twat
sweet-slide,-the
syntribadism
syntribate
take-a-finger-ride
taking-a-dip
taking-a-trip-south
taking-care-of-business
TCB
teasing-the-kitty
testing-the-plumbing
teasing-the-taco
teasing-the-tuna
thumb-the-button
tickle-the-crack
tickle-the-ditty
tickle-the-mustache
tickle-the-taco
tickle-torture
tickle-your-fancy
tickling-her-fancy
tickling the clown
tickling-the-little-man-in-the-boat
tip-the-middle-finger
tiptoe-through-the-twolips
toggling-the-bit
tossing-pink-salad
touch oneself
touch-typing
touch-up
touching-up
trail blazing in the bush
traveling past the Mason-Dixon Line
treating-yourself-right
trolling-the-bermuda-triangle
TT
twatty-wank
tweak-the-twig
tweaking-the-little-man-in-the-boat
twenty twenty
twiddling the bean
twirling the pearl
twit-the-clit
two fingered (taco) tango
unbuttoning the fur coat
unclogging-the-drain
virgin's-release
visit-Father-Fingers
visiting-Niagra-Falls
visiting-the-safety-deposit-box
wake-the-butterfly
walk-through-the-valley-of-love
wank
wash-your-fingers
washing-the-fingers
waste-time
watching-the-butterfly-smile
water-the-hot-spot
wax-the-bean
wax-the-saddle
wet-the-whistle
whipping-the-cat
whipping-the-nest
wild-ride,-the
womanipulation
working-in-the-garden
worshiping-the-finger-princess
yawning
See also:
rheomism
rheononia
See Also: 3 point shot, 5-digit disco, a date with Manuela, a date with Senorita Mano, a little southern romance, a visit from Mother Fist, accordion solo, aching for a side of beef, addressing Mr. Palmer, adjusting your set, airing the orchid, amatripsis, ambidexterity, answer the bone-a-phone, applying for a fishing liscence, applying lip gloss, applying the hand brake, arm aerobics, arm breaker, armswinging, art of unisex, assault on a friendly weapon, attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior, audition the finger puppets, auditioning the hand puppet, bachelor's delight, backstroke roulette, balls deep into your fist, bananas and cream, banging the drum, Barclay's bank, bashing the bishop, bashing the candle, bashing the dummy, basting the meat, basting the tuna, bat off, batting practice, battling the purple-helmeted warrior, beastliness, beat the beaver, beating about the bush, beating around the bush, beating off, beating the bait, beating the bed flute, beating the bishop, beating the bologna, beating the boner, beating the bush, beating the meat, beating the old man, beating the piss outta my best friend, beating the pud, beating the snake, beating your meat on the toilet seat, beef-stroke-it-off, biffing off, big date with Rosy Palms, big stroke time, bisecting the triangle, bishoprage, bleed the goose, bloating the vein, blooming, blowing your own horn, bludgeon the beefsteak, blue-vein shuffle, bob the bologna, bobbing the boloney, bollock service, bologna bop, bombing the German helmet, bop the mop, bopping Richard, bopping the bishop, bopping the bologna, bopping the bonzo, boxing the bald champ, boxing the bald-headed clown, boxing the ballsack, boxing the Bozak, boxing the clown, boxing with Richard, brushing the beaver, bucking it, buff the beaver, buff the dog, buff the mushroom, buff the pylon, buff the weasle, buffing, buffing the banana, buffing the bishop, buffing the box, buffing the helmet, buffing the jewel, buffing the magic lamp, buffing the rifle, buffing the wood, buggering the hand, burp the baldman, burp the worm, burping the baby, burping the worm, bury the knuckle, bury the salami, bury the weenie, butter schlopping, butter the bead, butter the muffin, butter the potato, buttering the corn, buttering the muffin, butting the bead, button hole, buttonhole, buying an E-Ticket, buzz, buzzing, calling all cum, calling down for more mayo, candlesticking, caning the vandal, capturing the bishop, caress oneself, caressing the kitty, carrying weight, catch a buzz, catching a case of whackinitis, celebrating Palm Sunday, charm the cobra, charming the snake, cheat the meat, checking the foxhole, checking the oil, checking the status of the I/O port, chicken-grabbing, chipping wood, choke hold, choke the chook, choke the gopher, choking Charlie 'till he throws up, choking Kojak, choking the bald guy until he pukes, choking the chipmunk, choking the sheriff and waiting for the posse to come, churning the cream, circling the knoll, clam bake for one, clamming the engram, clap the clit, cleaning my fur coat, cleaning the fish, cleaning the rifle, cleaning the storm-drains, cleaning your fingers, climbing Mount Baldy, climbing the tree, clit bliss, clit fix, clit twit, clitorize, clobbering the kleenex, closet frisbee, closing the deal, clubbing eddy, clubbing the clam, coating prince william sound with love oil, cock the cannon, colonel sanders heimleich maneuver, combing the brush, coming to grips with yourself, conking the cardinal, consult Dr. Jerkoff, converse with Harry Palm, cook cucumbers, cook the clam, cook your nookie, cooking the cream of cock, corralling the tadpoles, couch hockey for one, countering cunts, cracking nuts, cracking the bat, cranking the corona, creaming the cheese, creaming the pie, creaming the twinkie, create an arch, crime of self-pollution, crimping the wire, critter cramming, crossing the great divide, crossing the swamp, crown the king, cuddling the kielbasa, culture the American Blood Sausage, cum the scum, cunt-cuddling, Custer's last stand, dactylate, damming the beaver, dance with Johnnie One-eye, date Miss Michigan, dating Manuella, dating my palm, dating the Palm sisters, dating Thumbalina and her four sisters, decongesting the weasel, deep dishing, defrosting the fridge, dialing the pink phone, dialing the rotary phone, dickless dildo dance, Dickless Tracy, diddling, diddling Miss Daisy, diddling the dinky, digging a trench, digging for change, digging for clams, digging for your keys, digging into the trenches, digging the trench, digit disco, digital manipulation of the coital apparatus, digital special effects, digitally oscillating the penis, digitate, digitating, digitize, digitizing, dildo doodling, dinging the dong, dinky the slinky, dip the digit(s), disciplining the primate, disseminating, do a one-finger exercise, do handiwork, do the bowling hold, do the Han Solo, docking in shuttle bay 5, doddle whacking, doing battle with the purple helmeted warrior of love, doing handiwork, doing hard time in the hand slammer, doing it your way, doing laps, doing one's nails, doing something for my chapped lips, doing the hand jive, doing the janitor thing, doing the pork sword jiggle, doing the solitary rhumba, doing the Two Finger Slot Rumba, doing the white knuckler, dong flogging, douse the digits, dousing the digits, downing at the club (for members only), draining the monster, draining the poisons from the building, drilling for oil, drilling for oil in your own backyard, driving the skin bus, drooling, dropping a line, dropping stomach pancakes, drown the man in the boat, dry humping the ottoman, dundering the devil, dunk the doughnut, dunking the beaver, dusting the endtable, dusting the old trophy, educating Peter, electing the president, encapsulate your probe, engaging in internal revenue service, engaging in safe sex, enjoying a little southern comfort, enjoying yourself, entering no man's land, entering the ring of fire, erase the problem, erasing the problem, erupting the volcano, erupting Vesuvius, escorting the one-eyed postal worker out of its denim cell, evicting the testicular squatters, excercise your rights, experiencing men-o-paws, exploring Carlsbad Caverns, exploring the deep South, express a secret vice, fan the fur, fanning the fur, fanning the furnace, fanny fumbling, fare un ditolino, faxing Jimmy Dean, faxing the pope, feed the bearded clam, feed the beaver, feed the cat, feed the clam, feed the fish, feed the spunk-o-meter, feeding the bearded clam, feeding the chooks, feeding the other mouth, feeding the slot, feeding your trouser-mouse, feel in one's pocket for one's big hairy rocket, feel the fur, female finger fun, femdomme, fiddle the bean, fiddle with oneself, fidget the midget, file the fun-rod, filling up the belly button well, finger blasting, finger dancing, finger flick, finger fuck, finger fun, finger job, finger painting, finger pie, fingerbating, fingerdoodling, fingering the clit, fingering the fountain, fingering the skin harp, fire the wobbly warhead, firing off a round, firing the flesh musket, firing the surgeon general, firm the worm, fish mitten, fishing for trouser trout, fishing for zipper trout, fist flick, fist kebabing 101, fist of fury, five against Willy, five finger boogie on the blue vein, five finger discount, five finger exercise(s), five finger knuckle shuffle, five finger lingo, five fingers against one penis, five knuckle olympics, five on one, five-finger solo, five-knuckle-shuffle (on the old piss pump), flapping takkie, flaying the emperor, flick the bean, flick the BIC, flicking the switch, flip the flaps, flipping the bishop, flipping through the pages, flit the clit, flog it, flog the infidel, flogging the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the mule, flogging the poodle, flogging the salami, flogging your dumber brother, flogging your pride, flossing the cat, flub the dub, fluff the muff, flute solo, fly automatic, fly fishing, fly manually, flying manual, flying on automatic, flying solo, fondling the fig, four-lip whistling, freeing Willy, fret the fiddle-strings, frigging the love muscle, frosting the pastries, fuck palmala, fucking without complications, furry finger fuck, furry fun, fuzzy fun, gagging the clam, gagging the lips of love, gallop the goose, gallop the maggot, gallop the old lizard, galloping the lizard, genital pollution, genital sensate focussing, genital stimulation via phalangetic motion, genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion, gentle the genitalia, get a date with Slick Mittens, get a fat lip, get a lube job, get a stinky pinky, getting a date with slick mittens, getting a grip on things, getting a hold of yourself, getting a little off-hand, getting a stain out of my carpet, getting chafed, getting gnarly with the knudster, getting in touch with your manhood, getting in touch with yourself, getting stripped of your grammy, getting the german soldier marching, getting the glue stick, getting to know yourself, getting to know yourself personally in the biblical sense, getting your caps peeled, getting your end away, getting your palm read, getting your palm read by Mister Softee, getting your pole varnished, gherkin-jerking, gilding the lily, give oneself the finger, giving the general a five-finger salute, giving yourself the finger, giving Yul Brenner the high-five, glazing the knuckle, gluing the lady's eye shut, go a couple rounds with the champ(ion), go back to the wig-wam and beat the tom-tom, going a couple of rounds with Ol' Josh, going eye to eye with Johnny Hung, going mining, going on a date with Handrea, going on a date with Palmela, going on a date with Rosey Palm and the five daughters, going on a finger ride, going on Peewee's little adventure, going on the blow, going on the dole, going out with Mother Thumb and her four daughters, going with Ms. Thumb & her four daughters, grab the goatee, grappling the gorilla, grease the dildo, grease the gash, greasing the flagpole, greasing the pipe, greasing the skillet, greasing your bone, greasing your hips, great sin of youth, grinding the goo shooter, grip the gorilla, grip the tip, gripping Flipper, gripping the pencil, gristle rub, groping the grotto, growing hair on the palms, gushing the geyser, gusset typing, hack the hog, hack the mack, ham shank, ham-boning, Han Solo, hand fuck, hand gallop, hand game, hand labor, hand solo, hand to gland combat, hand work, handful of pleasure, a, handling the hard on, hands on training, handy work, hanging five, hanging the old man, hard labor, harp playing, have a date with a handkerchief, having a ball, having a conversation with the one-eyed trouser snake, having a date with Fisty Palmer, having a five-knuckle-shuffle, having a ham shank, having a one-night-stand with yourself, having a roy, having a sherman, having a tug-of-war with the cyclops, having a whack attack, having an arm-wrestle with your one-eyed vessel, having one off the wrist, having some clam dip, hee-haw with the wrinkled mee-maw, helping the python shed its skin, herkin' the gherkin, hiking the Grand Canyon, hit on Rosy Palm, hit the slit, hitchhiking south, hitchhiking underneath the big top, hold a bowling ball, holding my own, holding on to a family heirloom, holding the sausage hostage, holding your sausage hostage, honking Bobo, hoodwink, hose the hole, hotdog-a-rama, housebreaking the cat, hula-hooping, hump the bump, humping air, humping the hose, hurting Burt until he squirts, ignite the lightsaber, in the hand cream, informal values, installing a burglar alarm, invading Poland, invoking Venus, Irish promotion, Irish wedding, ironing some wrinkles, itching the ditch, J/O scene, jack hammering, jacking, jacking off, jam the joystick, jerk job, jerk the gherkin, jerking jamby, jerking the gherkin, jerking the merkin, jerking the noodle, jerking the turkey, jerking the wheel, jiggling the dice, jiggling your cockanballs, jill off, jilling off, jimmying the joey, jiring one's wad, jizzlobbing, Jocelyn Eldering, joyce off, juggling the coullions, juice it up, jump start the river, keep a date with bobby palm and his five brother, kicking seamen, killing 45 seconds, killing it, killing off, kneading the knockwurst, knuckle shuffle, knuckling the bone, lady fingers and cream, launching a class probe, launching the hand shuttle, launching the head of a world-cup golfer, launching the tadpoles, leaking the main drain, leave it to beaver, leglock the pillow, let your fingers do the walking, levy break limbo, lightening the load, lighting the candle, lighting the pipe, lip smacking, little pinky hit the slinky, little southern romance, loading the cannon, lonely art, loob the goob, look in the mirror, looking for ticks, looking for uboats, looking for Waldo & his dog, love's labors lost, loving the muppet, loving thy self, lubing the tube, maintaining a holding pattern, make bumps, make butter, make fist-kabobs, make love with Mother Thumb and her four daughters, make love with Rosy Palm and her five sisters, make silly with the Willy, make the tide come in, make waves (for the boy-in-the-boat), making a finger sandwich, making a foreskin cone, making a six-fist, making duck butter, making five fingers, making friends with Big Ed, making instant pudding, making love with Miss Right, making nut butter, making oyster soup, making soup, making the kitty purr, making the oysters smile, making the scene with the magazine, making vanilla jism shakes, making yogurt, making yourself at home, man overboard, mangling the midget, manipulating the mango, manning the cannon, manning the cockpit, manual job, manual labor, manual override, manually-assisted wet dream, manustupration, maritate, masonic secret self handshake, massage the fireman's neck, massage the one-eyed monk, massage your muscle, massage your purple-headed warrior, master bacon, maximize your potency, measuring for condoms, meet Mrs. Palmer and her five daughters, meet your right-hand man, meeting Mary Palm and her five sisters, meeting Rosie Hancock, meeting with Mother Thumb and her four daughters, menage a un, merry widow waltz, milk the chicken, milk the lizard, milk the maggot, milking the bull, milking the cow, milking the moose, milking the musket, milking the weasel, milkywaying, minding my own business, mistressbate, molesting the mole, monkey-slapping, monkey-spanking, moving into a one-bedroom apartment, moving the stone, much goo about nothing, muff ruffing, muffing buffing, mule breeding, murder the Bishop, My sex life!, navel maneuvers, nerking the throbber, non-penile pleasure pursuit, nulling the void, nuzzle the fuzz, oiling the glove, oiling the pogo stick, on the waterslide, Onan's Olympics, onanera, onania, one gun salute, one hand clapping, one handed clapping, one man show, one man tug-o-war, one off the wrist, one-eye target practice, one-legged race, one-stick drum improvisation, one-two, packaging the ol' sausage, packing the palm, paddling the peter, paddling the pickle, paddling the pink canoe, paddling the robin, paint the ceiling, painting the pickle, painting the walls, Palmala Handerson, palming the calm, Palmolive finger dip, pampering the pussy, parting the petals, parting the red sea, parting the waters, passing math, pause that refreshes, the, pearl diving, pearl fishing, peeling some chilies, peeling the banana, peeling the carrot, peeling the chile, performing a pearl jam, performing a self-test, performing an organ solo, performing diagnostics on your mantool, performing for Mr. Swaggart, perling the oyster, pet the petunia, pet the poodle, pet the pussy (cat), petal pushing, petting kitty, petting Snoopy, petting the bunny, petting the kitty, petting the lizard, petting the pussy, petting the snake, petting the Wookie, petting your dog, phoning the czar, piddle the pud, pink piston practice, pipping the pumpkin, pitch a knuckle ball, pitching in the bush leagues, play a flute solo on one's meat whistle, play the clitar, play the fiddle, play the silent trumbone, playing a bass solo, playing a little five-on-one, playing a little game of five on one, playing a one-stringed guitar, playing a solo on the meat whistle, playing in a one-man show, playing peek-a-boo (with Mr. Johnson), playing piano, playing pocket pinball, playing soapy Peter, playing tag with the pink torpedo, playing the beaver, playing the fiddle, playing the flesh flute, playing the flesh trombone, playing the hairy banjo, playing the man-flute, playing the one-stringed melody, playing the pink oboe, playing the silent trombone, playing the skin flute, playing the slots, playing tug-o-war with the cyclops, playing uno, playing with dick, playing with it, playing with Susi Palmer and her five friends, playing with the man in the boat, playing with the pineapple, playing with the pink Power Ranger, playing with the spitting llama, playing with the turtle, playing with your 6th finger, playing with your big Alien, playing Yahtzee, pleasing the pisser, plucking the chicken, plumbing the bottomless pit of passion, plunking the twanger, point one's social finger, poke the pussy, poking the pie, poking the pucker, polish the bayonet, polish the chrome dome, polish the horn, polish the log, polish the Oscar, polish the pole, polish the shooter, polish the viper, polishing Charlie Brown, polishing Percy in your palm, polishing the beak, polishing the family jewels, polishing the helmet, polishing the night stick, polishing the nugget, polishing the peanut, polishing the pearl, polishing the pud, polishing the rocket, polishing the silver, polishing the sword, polishing the wedding ring, pollute, popping the purple pimple, popping the zit, Portuguese pump, pound the mound, pounding off, pounding the bald-headed moose, pounding the flounder, pounding the pud, pounding the pudding, pow-wow with the one-eyed Redskin, practising, praising the orchid, preheating the oven, preparing the carrot, pressing the pleats, prime the pump, prime the womb cannon, priming the pump, prodding the half-cooked pastrami, producing whore moans, prompt the porpoise, prostate maintenance, pub the dub, pud wrestling, pud-pulling, pudwhacking, pull the duck's neck, pull the pin, pull the pope, pulling off, pulling on Peter, pulling the bologna pony, pulling the carrot, pulling the colonel sanders heimleich manuever, pulling the cord, pulling the five-knuckle shuffle, pulling the goalie, pulling the handbrake, pulling the mule, pulling the pole, pulling the pope, pulling the pud, pulling the putz, pulling the taffy, pulling the weed, pulling the wire, pulling your goalie, pulling your own leg, pulling your prick, pummel the love truncheon, pummeling the priest, pump the monkey, pump the python, pumping cream, pumping for pleasure, pumping for power, pumping the electric goo gun, pumping the gas at the self-service island, pumping the kooter, pumping the stump, punchin' the munchkin, punching the clown, punching the puppet, punish Percy in the palm, punish the Harlequin, punish the penguin, punishing the pope, punt the cunt, pushing the button, pushing the daisy and make it cum, pussy poking, pussy soccer, qualifying in the testicular time trial, R2 your D2, raising the mainsail, raking the leaves, rapid one arm pull-ups, ravage the innocent, read Braille, reading in Braille, reading poetry, relaxation rubdown, relief massage, relieving tension, returning to sender, rheomism, rheononia, ride sidesaddle, ride the curl, ride the great white knuckler, ride the tubespout, ride the tubsput, riding the clitoris-saurus, riding the great white knuckler, riding the unicycle, riding the waterslide, riding the wild hand, ring for the maid, ringing for the elevator, ringing southern bells, roasting chestnuts, rocking the little man in the boat, rod-walloping, rolling the dough, rolling the fleshy blunt, rolling the mink, rolling your own, Roman helmet rumba, romancing Lady Five Fingers, romancing the rose, romancing thy own, Romeo and himself, roping the long horn, roping the pony, roping the pope, roughing up the suspect, row the little man in the boat, rub off, rub your cooze 'til you ooze, rub-a-dub, rubbin nubbin, rubbing one out, rubbing the donut, rubbing the love nubbin, rubbing the magic one-eyed wonder weasel, rubbing the nub, rubbing the nubbin, rubbing the pink eraser, rubbing the red pussycat, rubbing the rod, ruff the muff, run one's hand up the flagpole, running off a batch by hand, running Peter through two-a-days, running the 100-yard dash, running the cheeta, running the whack-a-thon, sacrificing sperm to the god of lonely nights, safest sex, sailors' joy, sanding the banister, sanding wood, schnauzer shuffleboard, schplitzing the schmeckel, scoring the hoop, scouring the tower of power, scraping the horn, scratch the crack, scratch the patch, scratch the snatch, scratching the itch, scratching the snatch patch, scrub the cake pan, scuff the muff, scuffing the muff, se branler, se crosser, se faire les cinq doigts de la main, se passer un poignet, search for Spock, secret handshake, secret indulgence, secret selfish sin, see if the baby's home, see Madam(e) Thumb and her four daughters, self-induced penile regurgitation, self-inflicted intercourse, self-manipulation, self-relief, self-service, self-stimulation, serta solo, setting off a depth charge, setting the oysters, shake it up, shaking hands with Abraham Lincoln, shaking hands with Jack Mcnasty, shaking hands with Little Elvis, shaking hands with Mr. Happy, shaking hands with Mr. President, shaking hands with Shorty, shaking hands with the General, shaking hands with the guy that stood up when I got married, shaking hands with the midget, shaking hands with the unemployed, shaking hands with the wife's best friend, shaking hands with your John Thomas, shaking hands with Yul Brenner, shaking the bottle, shaking the dice, shaking the hand of the self-employed, shaking the hand of the unemployed, shaking the sauce, shaking the sausage, shaking the snake, shaking your (own) maracas, shaking your fist at the sky, shaking your hand at the sky, shanking, shellacking the shellaleigh, shelling the bean, shelling the oyster, shemping the hog, shifting gears, shifting into first gear, shine the pole, shining the helmet, shining the pole, shining the pork sword, shooting (off) the muck, shooting flies, shooting for the moon, shooting hoops, shooting putty at the moon, shooting tadpoles at the moon, shooting the cat, shooting the rapids, shuck the corn, shuffle the deck, shuffling the Kit-Kat, single dingles, skimming the cream, slaking the bacon, slam the clam, slamming the ham, slamming the hammer, slamming the salami, slamming the salmon, slamming the spam, slap the hammer, slap the little head, slap the wapper, slapping high fives with Yul Brynner, slapping it, slapping pappy, slapping the big-nosed rasta man, slapping the Cap'n, slapping the carrot, slapping the clown, slapping the donkey, slapping the fleshgopher, slapping the mackerel, slapping the pud, slapping the purple headed yogurt pistol, slapping the salami, slaying the one-eyed monster, slick abuse, sling one's jelly, sling one's juice, slinging the jelly, slipping yourself a mickey, slog the log, slopping the hogs, sloppy sign language, smacking the clam, smacking the oompa loompa, smacking the salami, smacking the sausage, smacking the weasel, smacking your sister, smacking-off, smoking hooch with reagan, snap the rubber, snapping one off, snapping the carrot, snapping the monkey, snapping the rubber, snapping the twig, snapping the whip, snatching, snuggle the nozzle, soaking in Palmolive, soaking the whisker biscuit, soldier's joy, solitary evil, solitary sex, solo sex, southern comfort, southern massage, southern pleasures, southern romance, southern seduction, spank the bishop, spank the carrot, spank the hangdown, spank the little boy, spank the wank, spank the wife's best friend, spanking cheetah, spanking Elvis, spanking the bishop, spanking the frank, spanking the salami, spear chucking, spelunking, spit-polishing the purple helmet, split the slit, spraying the spectators, spreading the petals, spunk the monk, spunking, squeeze the peach, squeezing the creamy filter, squeezing the juice, squeezing the lemon, squeezing the squid, squeezing the weasel, squirt-n-spurt, stacking the deck, staff meeting, stiffening the upper lip, stir the cauldron, stir the yogurt, stirring it up, stirring the batter, stirring the yogurt, stoking the furnace, straddle the paddle, strain the main vein, straining the spaghetti, strangle Kojak, strangle the dangle, strangle the stogie, strangle Yoda, strangling the serpent, stretching the muscle, strike the pink match, stroke the purple-nosed gusset ferret, stroke the slit, stroke the Wookie, stroke your ego, strokem your scrotum, stroking and poking, stroking it, stroking off, stroking the dog, stroking the lizard, stroking the loaf, stroking the mole, stroking the one-eyed burping gecko, stroking the poker, stroking the satin-headed serpent, stroking the schlong, stroking the scoobie, stroking the snail, stroking the squirmin' german, stroking the twinkie, stroking the wiener, stropping the beak, stropping the mulligan, strum, strum the ol' banjo, strumming, strumming the banjo, strumming the Big Open, stuff the taco, stump-jump, summon the genie, summoning the semen demon, surf the wet, surfing at finger beach, surfing on the Milky Highway, surfing the channel, sushi party, swat the twat, sweet slide, the, taffy-pulling contest, take a finger ride, take a load off your mind, take a ride on the mean spanking machine, take Captain Picard to warp speed, take ol' stiff neck to the movies, taking a dip, taking a nap, taking a shake break, taking a trip south, taking Herman to the circus, taking matters into one's own hands, taking ol' one eye through the fly, taking old one-eye to the optometrist, taking some time off, taking the Jocelyn Elders midterm, taking the monster for a one-armed ride, taking the old skin boat to tuna town, talking quietly to yourself, taming goliath, taming the animal, taming the shrew, tango con mano, taunting the one-eyed weasel, teach our children to fly, teach your dog to spit, teasing the kitty, teasing the taco, teasing the tuna, teasing the weasel, teasing the weenie, tenderizing the meat, tenderizing the tube steak, test the flashlight, testicular tensile strength test, testing the batteries, testing the plumbing, testing the testicles, that crazy hand jive, thrapping, thumb the button, thump the pump, thump the pumper, tickle the crack, tickle the ditty, tickle the mustache, tickle the pickle, tickle the taco, tickle torture, tickle your fancy, tickling her fancy, tickling the little man in the boat, tickling the one-eyed weasel, tickling the pickle, tip the middle finger, tiptoe through the twolips, toggling the bit, toot the flute, tooting the horn, torking the fork, torking the power rod, torment the trouser trout, torquing the taliwacker, torquing the wrench, torturing the tentacle, toss the boss, tossing off, tossing pink salad, tossing the caber, tossing the ham javelin, tossing the pink salad, tossing the salad, tossing the snag, tossing the turkey, tossing yogurt, touch typing, touch up, touching up, train the love porpoise, traveling past the mason-dixon line, treating yourself right, trolling for flames, trolling the bermuda triangle, trouser olympics, trouser snake CPR, trying to make One-Eyed Willy puke, TT, tugging the slug, tugging the tapioca tube, tuning the fork, tuning the horn, turning japanese, turning on, tuning in and dropping out, twatty wank, tweak the twig, tweak the twinkie, tweaking the little man in the boat, tweaking the twinkie, twenty-twenty, twiddle with oneself, twirl the squirrel, twist the turnip, twisting the crank, twisting the piston, twisting the tool, twit the clit, two finger taco tango, two fingered tango, Uncle Frank, unclogging the drain, unclogging the sink, unleash the fury, unloading passengers from the five-car train, unloading the gun, unsheathing the pork sword, uprooting the big mushroom, using the force on Darth Vader, varnishing the flagpole, vice of self-defilement, violating the hedge-hog, virgin's release, visit Father Fingers, visit Mary Thumb and her four daughters, visit Rosy Palm and her five daughters, visiting Merry Palmer, visiting Niagra Falls, visiting the notary public, visiting the safety deposit box, wacking off, wacking the one-eyed worm, wacking the weasel, wacking the willie, wacking Wee Willie Wonka, wake the butterfly, walk the dog, walk through the valley of love, walking old one-eye, walking the dog, walking the plank, walking the snake, walking Willie the one eyed wonder worm, waltz with Willy, wank, wank the crank, wanker the anchor, wanking one-eyed Willy, wanking the one-eyed wonder worm, wanking the scube, wanking with the one-eyed wonder weasel, wapping your weenie, warming up the altar boys' dinner, wash the cosh, wash your fingers, washing the fingers, washing the goose's neck, washing the hog, washing the lighthouse, washing the meat, waste time, watching the butterfly smile, water the hot spot, wave the wand, wax the Buick, wax the carrot, wax the dolphin, wax the saddle, wax the womb-broom, waxing the car, waxing the carrot, waxing the surfboard, waxing the t-bird, wearing a fat guys slacks, wet the whistle, whack little Mac, whacking off, whacking the weasel, whacking Wee Willie Winkie, whacking willy, whank off, whiffing an easy fairway shot, whip the cat, whip the devil, whip the dripper, whip the dummy, whip the weenie, whip the wire, whip the worm, whipping dripping, whipping the bishop, whipping the cat, whipping the dripper, whipping the dummy, whipping the nest, whipping the one-eyed trouser snake, whipping the stiff, whipping the weasel, whipping the wire, whipping up some sour cream, whipping Willy the one-eyed wonder-worm, whipping your Willy, white water wristing, whittle the wood, whittling Dixie, whittling the stick, whiz the jizzum, whizzing jism, whizzing the jism, wiggling the worm, wild ride, the, Willie and the hand jive, winding the jack in the box, winding the Wurlitzer, windsurf on Mount Baldy, womanipulation, wonk the conker, wonk your conker, wonking the conker, wonking the donk, workin' the jerkin, working in the garden, working off, working off a batch, working out a stiff joint, working your willy, worshiping the finger prince, worshiping the finger princess, worshiping the fist prince, worshiping the white god of seed, wrestle the bald-headed champion, wrestle the cyclops, wrestling the bald(-headed) champion, wrestling the cyclops, wrestling the eel, wrestling the one-eyed monster, wrestling the purple headed warrior, wrestling with the blue-veined custard chucker, wriggle, wringing (it), wringing out the rope, wringing the cheesy bell, wrist aerobics, wrist job, wristing, yank the crank, yank the doodle, yank the dork, yank the plank, yank the shlong, yank the strap, yank the wang, yank the yak, yank the yam, yank the Yoda, Yankee your Wankee, yanking, yanking the crank, yanking the plank, yanking the yoyo, yawning, yucking your choad

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