gray lady:

Disparaging gay name for an aging , middle-aged or elderly homosexual , especially if delicate , mannish, and gossipy. Old age starts early in the gay community, around 30. Bruce Rodgers: ' Youth is the premium in the real world , but it is the criterion in the gay world '.
Synonyms: aging-actress ; aunt ; aunt-Mame ; aunt-Mathilda ; auntie ; chin-strap ; dirty-old-man ; fallen-star ; geriatric-set ; Geritol-set ; grandma ; gray lady ; grimm's-fairy ; old-girl (hen, one, thing , queen , queer); prune-person ; rancid-flower ; soiled-senior-citizen ; wheelchair-set .

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